Jealous Widow

I don’t know about you but I find it hard to watch couples together.

The young lovers, holding hands and so openly showing their love, make my heart break from memories of my earlier years with my husband. Yes, we used to be like that – how I miss young love!!

The older couples that have spent many years together, comfortable with each other and at ease with the quiet time between conversations. That should be me and Donnie, how unfair life seems and yes I’m jealous!!

I see these couples at restaurants, shopping and out walking. They may be happily married or not, I have no idea, but they have each other. They don’t even have to talk or discuss all details, because they already know each other’s likes and dislikes or when one isn’t feeling well or is unhappy.

Couples know to wait if the other one is late, they can be certain that their partner will get there. They know the rules of when it’s time to leave, watching for the non-verbal cues that the other person has had enough.

Yes, I still get jealous when I see couples doing exactly what Donnie and I used to do. Couples that communicate with just a look or a touch, an understanding and comfort that comes from being together as one.

It’s gotten better over the years, but I still find myself looking at couples with a touch of sadness. Based on your comments, many of you get strength from your religious beliefs. You feel that God has a plan for you and that gives you the strength to carry on. But for those that don’t have that strength, they need to find it from children, family, friends and others that are widowed.

In the end, I have found strength working with other widows and writing articles/blogs, while doing workshops. I don’t always know where I’m going but I know I have the inner strength to figure it out. You also have that inner strength, so don’t give up on yourself.

4 Responses

  1. D
    | Reply

    I do not feel jealous of seeing couples in love. I had 40 years of marriage to the best guy ever. Yes, I miss him every day. No question about that. What I feel is grateful for what my husband and I had together. Anyone who has that love is very lucky and rare.

    Just a thought here….some couples might seem like they have it all, but are still together for “financial” reasons.

    I feel lucky that I had the best 40 years of my life with someone who truly loved me and I loved him.

    Being a widow is just a part of life. Hey, maybe I’ll change my mind if I meet someone who is special. Who knows what life “throws” at us!

    Thanks for what you do, Mary Francis. D

  2. Patti Erman
    | Reply

    Sunday was our day to do home projects together. It is hard to watch couples in my neighborhood working in their yards, etc. It has been a little over a year and a half since my husband passed unexpectedly from a heart attack. He was 57.

  3. Linda
    | Reply

    Dear Patty,

    My best friend/husband just passed, he was also 57 and also of a heart attack….and Yes we had yard projects and house projects we had planned to do, trips, lunches, just everything in life you do with a partner. We worked together 24/7, now he is gone. There are days I have a difficult time getting out of bed, I don’t eat, then I binge eat and feel awful. The feeling of loss is overwhelming at times, I cry myself to sleep and can’t function the next day.

  4. Deb
    | Reply

    My husband passed away suddenly seven years ago at the age of 54. We had a wonderful life, were best friends and did everything together. We were blessed with four wonderful children. I have to admit I still look at couples young and old with a sense of jealousy, even my own siblings! They are traveling and enjoying life together! I know my husband and I had a great life together and am grateful for that but can’t help but wish for more. It is not easy.

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