Is Fear Your Dominant Emotion?

After we lose our husbands we are unbalanced and being a “widow” is a strange new role.

I was surprised to find that a dominant emotion for me was fear. Fear that I would never emerge from the emotional fog. Fear that I would never again be able to laugh and experience joy.

Fear that I would fail as a parent. Fear that my memories would fade away. I think much of the fear I had was the fear of an unknown future that would not include my husband.

I do not believe that a loss of the magnitude we have experienced is something we “get beyond”, “work through”, or “move on” from.
Grieving is a loss of not only our loved one, but also our life as we knew it. It’s a matter of learning to incorporate our pain into our new life and new future. There are no shortcuts and no way out of our pain, we just have to move forward.

It all comes back to us, we have to take control of our fears and take one step at a time into our future. If we choose do let fear control us, we may get struck in our grief.

“We must be the change we wish to see in the world”, Mahatma Gandhi

4 Responses

  1. Amparo
    | Reply

    I have been a widow for a year and half, and yes, fear is a big part. Grieving the life I knew, resonated a great deal and brought me to tears.

    Thank you.

  2. Diane
    | Reply

    Fear, worry, depression and anxiety are a big part of my life. (I am on meds. that help.) My husband died 7 years ago. I am slowly trying to catch up on projects around the house and yard. I retired 2 years ago and live alone. I have no children. I do the best I can and hire people to do big projects that I can no longer handle.

    I have a cute 2 year old cat that I adopted last November. She is always around me and keeps me company.

  3. Gr
    | Reply

    My sweety passed sept 20 this year after a long battle with Parkinsons and dementia,i was his caregiver. I am lost

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Gr – I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard to adjust after being a caregiver for a long period of time. Now you need to think about what you want out of your life. What path do you want to take? It helps to talk to others in similar situations. You can go to the Forum on the website or to Facebook to see what other widows comment on. Or request to join the closed group for a more private and open discuss among the widows at “The Sisterhood of Widows – Closed Group for Widows”. Take care of yourself, Mary Francis

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