The Start of the Holiday Season

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Well, it’s that time of year again, when holidays are starting and everyone is talking about being thankful and grateful. The holiday season starts with Thanksgiving Day and goes through till New Year’s Day.

Being thankful is a positive way to attract more situations and experiences to feel thankful for.

But . . . what if . . . you don’t feel particularly thankful right now? What if, like so many other widows, you’re having a difficult time and are feeling sad?

Along comes Thanksgiving with all of its added pressures and family obligations and you’re faced with all those “grateful” people telling you to count your blessings.

“Bah, humbug!” you say, “If you lost your loved one like I did you wouldn’t be so smiley.”

So how do you handle the holidays when you would rather just stay home and be left alone? We’ve all experienced times when we just did not feel very grateful – I know I have. We are experiencing our grief and life just seemed to be singling us out for difficulties.

The fastest and most effective way to change how you’re feeling is to force yourself to be social. Thanksgiving is a good time to do something for someone else. You’ll be amazed how much your grief will be lessened when your thoughts are focused on others.

• You could volunteer to help feed the homeless at a soup kitchen.

• Delivering a bag of groceries to someone in need.

• Donating some of your unwanted items.

• Visit someone who has no family.

• Have a Thanksgiving meal with a small group of friends and family.

• Go as a guest so you can turn up and leave as you wish. It’s good to be aware that there may be a limit to just how much “thankfulness” you can handle.

• Write a list of everything that is good in your life. Be sure to list every little thing you can think of, the more the better. A person cannot be grateful and be in self pity at the same time.

• Refuse to take part in gossip because it is just more negative energy and it serves no one. If you want to be happier and more at peace, choose not to partake – a great practice for family gatherings 

• When socializing with friends try not to get into couples only situations where you are the only single one in the group. That is just adding salt to the wound.

• You know that the holiday season is never going to be the same without your loved one but you can still honor your past memories and make room for some new memories.

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