Widows and Their Wedding Rings

Many widows wear their wedding rings till the day they die and others take them off the first year. The key here is that this is a very personal decision and others need to keep their opinions to themselves.

45 Responses

  1. Cassie
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    Hi. I’m still wearing my wedding rings. My husband died suddenly almost 3 years ago after being married 34 years and together for almost 40 years.
    I still “feel” married and lost with out my rings.

    But we did a unique thing with my husbands wedding band. I have two sons that got married in 2018. We had the ring cut in half by a jeweler and each son got 1/2. One added it to his wedding band.

    • Nancy
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      My husband died 2 1/2 years ago. I put his wedding band around his necklace he always wore I have been writing in my jounal for the past 5 years. Since he was diagnosed terminal. I’m in my 2nd one now..and I do feel like I’m talking to him…it has helped me deal with his loss.

  2. Maggie
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    14 months after he died and I am still wearing my wedding ring. I write to him in a journal and talk to his picture. May be widows brain, but I still miss him every day.

    • Gail
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      Hi Maggie -I do the same thing. I lost my husband almost 11 months ago and I write to him almost every day. I highly suggest it for new widows. I also still where my ring. I am thinking of having his and mine melted together to form a new one

    • Naomi Solscheid
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      I lost my beloved husband 4 months ago. I will wear my wedding ring for quite some time longer. I miss him every day.

  3. Iris
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    I lost my husband 6 years ago. My wedding ring was getting to tight and cutting into my finger, so after a lot of washing up liquid on it I managed to get it off and I had a bigger one made from mine and my husband’s….

  4. Judy
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    My husband died 8 years ago. I just took my rings off late last year. I wear other rings on my finger so I don’t feel “naked”. I am still thinking about what to do with them.

  5. Susan
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    I put my wedding band and his wedding band along with my engagement ring on a chain and wear them around my neck. I got a widows ring to wear on my left hand. My husband died a year ago.

    • Lysa Leggs
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      Lysa
      I did the exact same thing with my husband wedding band and my wedding ring plus engagement ring. I recently lost my husband. I’m searching for the perfect widows ring.

      I so appreciate your post

      • Brenda Russell
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        I lost my husband two months ago! Right after his death I was ask to take his jewelry because he was being cremated. I put his rings on my left middle finger next to mine! Is that wrong?

        • Mary Francis
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          Hi Brenda. There is nothing wrong with wearing his ring next to yours. Do what gives you some comfort and never let others tell you otherwise. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

        • Iris Rowbotham
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          Hi Brenda..First let me say that I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your husband
          We all grieve differently and I would say do whatever you feel gives you comfort
          I had both our wedding rings soldered together and I am happy wearing it still on my wedding finger after 8 years. I took it off for a while but it didn’t feel right
          There are lots of different things we as widows do and I hope you find what makes you happy..

          • Carol Corcoran
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            I lost my husband back in August and I wear his ring on my thumb. There is no right or wrong thing to do. Do what makes you feel right.

  6. Carol A Corcoran
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    My loss is only 32 days fresh. I’m currently wearing his band on my thumb where it fits nicely. I have no current plans of removing my wedding rings.

  7. Mary Bernuth
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    Hi Carol – My husband died on August 26th. His wedding ring fits nicely on my thumb also. Right now I can’t imagine taking my ring off but I can imagine wearing his. We were best friends and in love for 30 years. Thank you so much for sharing. It’s a hard time right now. The memorial is over, I’m alone in our home. We have grown children and grandchildren who are grieving also, so we’re in touch and that helps. Sending you my deepest sympathy.
    Mary

  8. Joan
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    Hi Mary and other girls, My husband died on August 26th also. I still wear my ring. I was looking on this site to decide what to do with his ring when I am ready. Maybe I will make it into some sort of a pendent. I look at my husbands picture right before I go to sleep at night. Then say “good night”. I always ask him ” how am I doing ” and “tell him how much I miss him. We were married 39 years.

    • Gail Rogers
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      Just a short note – My husband passed 2 years ago (Oct 9th) after 39 years of loving my best friend – I was broken . I followed 2 suggestions given to me and I’m glad I did.
      #1) I wore both rings for the 1st year than had them melted together with the diamonds and to form a beautiful ring I now where on my right hand. #2) and most important – after weeks of feeling so lost I started to write a Journal and talked to him every day (I’ve NEVER been one to write in a journal) – it turned out to be the best therapy ! I laughed, cried (a lot) shared family events, asked questions, talked about daily events, etc. – I highly recommend it. I did it every day for the 1st year and now not so often. My heart goes out to all of you – we are a special group that were lucky enough to have someone we loved so dearly in our lives. We all miss them so much

      • Jill
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        My husband died suddenly in November and I am wearing his ring with mine. I want to have them soldered together but I am panicked at the thought of taking it off and being without it for even the short time to have that done. I know it’s early days but I feel like making a decision will give me some semblance of control in this uncontrollable life I have found myself in.
        Anyone else have this problem?

        • Mary Jo Kaiyala
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          Hi Jill,
          My heart is breaking for your loss. I lost my husband, lover and forever mate of almost 47 years in November, just before Thanksgiving, suddenly and unexpectedly. I understand your feelings of loss and the overwhelming sense of no longer being in control of your life. Some days just getting up, showered and dressed seems like a monumental task. I have left everything just as it was the night before he died. I cannot imagine not wearing my wedding ring forever. His band is on a chain along with a tear drop pendant that holds some of his ashes that our daughters purchased for me. Now our hearts beat as one. I know one day I will find my way in life again, but not yet… the path is still too littered and rocky. Take your time making your way, follow where your heart takes you, it knows best at this time. In deepest sympathy.

    • Mary Bernuth
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      Dear Joan,

      Thank you so much for your reply. I’m holding you in my heart for your loss and feel a special connection that we both lost our beloveds on August 26th. I too look at his pictures every night and reach my hand across to “his side” to check in with him. Right now, I’m wearing my wedding ring and have simply no idea when that will change. I put together a shelf in his old office, now my office, with special mementos including his wedding ring. I am wearing a small silver pendant that my step daughter and our daughter had made that has our initials and thirty years engraved. On the other side they engraved “Something So Right”, the name of a Paul Simon song – a favorite of Jim’s. Thank you again for reaching out. I feel both comfort and sadness that we share this experience.

      Sending you my warmest thoughts,
      Mary

  9. Mary Bernuth
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    Dear Gail, Thank you so much for your guidance. I have not written in a journal yet but think I will take your idea to heart. Yes, we are so fortunate to have had a great love. Despite the daily crying and unfathomable sadness, I often feel gratitude more than grief.
    Warmly,
    Mary

  10. Barbara
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    I’m having a cremation ring made with my husbands ashes and will wear that instead of of my wedding ring. I’m revising our wedding vow of “Till death do us part.”

  11. kathleen
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    My wedding ring has 13 diamonds across the top and I am having every other one removed and replaced with my birthstone to honor the past/my marriage as well as celebrating my 60th birthday and moving forward.

  12. Julie
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    I lost my husband about 2 1/2 years ago. I feel like I am still grieving. He was the best person I knew. I am still wearing my wedding rings. I took his wedding ring and had our jeweler place a heart shape made with diamonds in the middle of it. I wear it on a longer chain so that I can wear my other necklace with it. I have seen where some have the ring itself shaped into a heart necklace. I am trying to decide whether to continue wearing my rings or get another ring. But they are so special to me that is it a hard decision.

  13. Barb
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    It is a hard decision to make and when is personal I think and. it takes time

  14. Joyce Turner
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    My husband of 34 years passed away December 30,2020. I never knew anything could hurt so much. I put a ring adjuster on his rings and wear them on my night hand. It gives me comfort.

  15. Teri Martin
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    My husband died a month ago the week before our son’s wedding. I gave his ‘Formal’ ring to our son and wear his everyday ring on a chain. He had two because he was a truck diver and had one for working in and getting scratched up.

  16. Kathy Bohemier
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    I lost my wonderful husband on October 11, 2020. We were married for 55 1/2 years. I never in all my life ever imagined going through something like this. I don’t know when I will ever take my rings off. I even put my original engagement ring back on that he replaced 20 years ago, it just feels so right. I’m so greatfulmInhave found this group. I think it will help.

  17. Michelle Steiner
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    I lost my husband 6 weeks ago. I had been wearing his ring on my thumb and it seemed to fit well, didn’t seem loose, but when I was using a public restroom it slipped off and into the toilet. I tried to grab it but the toilet auto-flushed and it was gone. I am devastated. Keep telling myself my memories are the important thing and not the object but I’m so mad at myself for being careless. 😞

    • Mary Francis
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      I’m sorry Michelle that his ring is gone. I buried Donnie with his ring still on him.

      You were not careless – it happens😢

      Was there anything else of his that would bring you comfort? I know lots of widows that have had items made out of their husbands t-shirts or did up a memory box.

      Take care, Mary Francis

  18. Marie Bohac
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    My husband passed Feb. 10, 2021. Suddenly. Married 53 years and still loved each other. Don’t know how to go on. He was ill and I know it was for the best but still sad.

    • Joyce Turner
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      I’m right there with you. My husband passed away the last day of 2020. We were married 34 and a half years. I still cry for him every day. My head knows he’s not coming back but my heart just doesn’t understand. Hugs to you.

  19. stephanie giammatteo
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    It is almost 6 years since my husband passed away. I love him and still in love with him. I will always wear my wedding ring. I have my good days and my bad days. I am still seeing professionals because this has been awful. I volunteer, journal, socialize with many friends, take courses online, and travel to name a few things things that I am doing. However, I am always lonely, It still hurts me to see couples together. I will go to my grave with this awful feeling.

    • Mary Francis
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      Hi Stephanie. I’m widowed for 14 years and still have my lonely times. It’s natural when you live by yourself. But when it gets hard I focus on something else, even if it’s just a walk around the neighborhood.

      Take care and be safe.
      Mary Francis

  20. Lo Lo
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    I lost my husband a year and a half ago. We were married almost 27 years. For our 7th wedding anniversary, he bought me a diamond engagement ring to go along with my original one. I wear that ring along with his wedding band on my right hand. I still wear my wedding rings on my left hand. I am so blessed by to have found this blog and the wonderful idea about the journal writing.

  21. Kristen
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    Hello, ladies. I lost my everything two weeks ago. I just picked up his ashes this morning. I’m still numb, but on subject, I’m wearing his wedding ring on my left ring finger- my wedding and engagement rings keep it from falling off. It’s so early in the process for me, I still have no idea what to do or how to go about anything. I’m glad to have found this page, though. Best wishes to everyone here.

    • Mary Francis
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      Welcome Kristen to our community for widows.

      • Carol Corcorsn
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        Kristen, I lost my husband August 2020…I too put his ring on my left hand and use my set to hold it in place…I have no intention of ever changing that…

    • Christy Eastman
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      I lost my soulmate on 10/10/21 and I’m still in shock.

  22. kbdayton
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    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband last October after 55 1/2 years. The grieving process has been the hardest thing I have ever been through. Prayers to you.

  23. Julita
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    I lost my husband Nov 2020 unexpectively. I also put his wedding band behind my rings on my left hand. We were married 43 years. I still talk to him everyday and pray for guidance, joy and peace. God has been my strength this past year. God bless you all

  24. Christy Eastman
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    I lost my husband 2 months ago via a violent situation. I miss him every single moment. I wanted to get a wedding band with some of his ashes.

  25. Tara L Dempster
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    I keep reading and hearing that wearing your wedding ring is a personal decision, but not once have I seen anyone say that they almost immediately stopped wearing theirs. I wore mine along with his so that they could be together, but after a couple months that even started to be too hard. I’ve been shamed and misunderstood about it. We wee married over 20 years and I had just turned 19 when we began dating. I’m not looking for someone else or trying to disrespect our marriage; it’s just so unbelievably hard to see and feel the ring on my finger or neck without being reminded that the father of my 3 kids is gone. Forever. You would think a widow would wear it forever, but it is too hard for me. It feels like a lie and I think about his death when I see the ring.
    I just want to put that out there for anyone that can relate. If you don’t agree or understand, please try to be kind of you respond. Writing this was a huge step for me.

    • Mary Francis
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      Thank you for your post. It’s good for other widows to see that not everyone wears their wedding rings.

      It’s good that we do what feels right for us and not bend to what others think.

      Proud of you for standing strong in what works for you.

  26. Jane and Joe Shuman
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    Tara my husband died 2 days before our 43rd anniversary. He had been Ill for quite some time. I read this blog to see how I could replace my wedding ring and got some ideas. But your post resonated with me. Having watched him deteriorate for months I think I grieved while he was alive. I have returned to work with a “look forward” attitude and replacing my ring is part of that. I miss him but life goes in.

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