Widows and Their Wedding Rings

Many widows wear their wedding rings till the day they die and others take them off the first year. The key here is that this is a very personal decision and others need to keep their opinions to themselves.

24 Responses

  1. Cassie
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    Hi. I’m still wearing my wedding rings. My husband died suddenly almost 3 years ago after being married 34 years and together for almost 40 years.
    I still “feel” married and lost with out my rings.

    But we did a unique thing with my husbands wedding band. I have two sons that got married in 2018. We had the ring cut in half by a jeweler and each son got 1/2. One added it to his wedding band.

  2. Maggie
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    14 months after he died and I am still wearing my wedding ring. I write to him in a journal and talk to his picture. May be widows brain, but I still miss him every day.

    • Gail
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      Hi Maggie -I do the same thing. I lost my husband almost 11 months ago and I write to him almost every day. I highly suggest it for new widows. I also still where my ring. I am thinking of having his and mine melted together to form a new one

  3. Iris
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    I lost my husband 6 years ago. My wedding ring was getting to tight and cutting into my finger, so after a lot of washing up liquid on it I managed to get it off and I had a bigger one made from mine and my husband’s….

  4. Judy
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    My husband died 8 years ago. I just took my rings off late last year. I wear other rings on my finger so I don’t feel “naked”. I am still thinking about what to do with them.

  5. Susan
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    I put my wedding band and his wedding band along with my engagement ring on a chain and wear them around my neck. I got a widows ring to wear on my left hand. My husband died a year ago.

    • Lysa Leggs
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      I did the exact same thing with my husband wedding band and my wedding ring plus engagement ring. I recently lost my husband. I’m searching for the perfect widows ring.

      I so appreciate your post

      • Brenda Russell
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        I lost my husband two months ago! Right after his death I was ask to take his jewelry because he was being cremated. I put his rings on my left middle finger next to mine! Is that wrong?

        • Mary Francis
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          Hi Brenda. There is nothing wrong with wearing his ring next to yours. Do what gives you some comfort and never let others tell you otherwise. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

        • Iris Rowbotham
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          Hi Brenda..First let me say that I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your husband
          We all grieve differently and I would say do whatever you feel gives you comfort
          I had both our wedding rings soldered together and I am happy wearing it still on my wedding finger after 8 years. I took it off for a while but it didn’t feel right
          There are lots of different things we as widows do and I hope you find what makes you happy..

          • Carol Corcoran

            I lost my husband back in August and I wear his ring on my thumb. There is no right or wrong thing to do. Do what makes you feel right.

  6. Carol A Corcoran
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    My loss is only 32 days fresh. I’m currently wearing his band on my thumb where it fits nicely. I have no current plans of removing my wedding rings.

  7. Mary Bernuth
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    Hi Carol – My husband died on August 26th. His wedding ring fits nicely on my thumb also. Right now I can’t imagine taking my ring off but I can imagine wearing his. We were best friends and in love for 30 years. Thank you so much for sharing. It’s a hard time right now. The memorial is over, I’m alone in our home. We have grown children and grandchildren who are grieving also, so we’re in touch and that helps. Sending you my deepest sympathy.

  8. Joan
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    Hi Mary and other girls, My husband died on August 26th also. I still wear my ring. I was looking on this site to decide what to do with his ring when I am ready. Maybe I will make it into some sort of a pendent. I look at my husbands picture right before I go to sleep at night. Then say “good night”. I always ask him ” how am I doing ” and “tell him how much I miss him. We were married 39 years.

    • Gail Rogers
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      Just a short note – My husband passed 2 years ago (Oct 9th) after 39 years of loving my best friend – I was broken . I followed 2 suggestions given to me and I’m glad I did.
      #1) I wore both rings for the 1st year than had them melted together with the diamonds and to form a beautiful ring I now where on my right hand. #2) and most important – after weeks of feeling so lost I started to write a Journal and talked to him every day (I’ve NEVER been one to write in a journal) – it turned out to be the best therapy ! I laughed, cried (a lot) shared family events, asked questions, talked about daily events, etc. – I highly recommend it. I did it every day for the 1st year and now not so often. My heart goes out to all of you – we are a special group that were lucky enough to have someone we loved so dearly in our lives. We all miss them so much

      • Jill
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        My husband died suddenly in November and I am wearing his ring with mine. I want to have them soldered together but I am panicked at the thought of taking it off and being without it for even the short time to have that done. I know it’s early days but I feel like making a decision will give me some semblance of control in this uncontrollable life I have found myself in.
        Anyone else have this problem?

        • Mary Jo Kaiyala
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          Hi Jill,
          My heart is breaking for your loss. I lost my husband, lover and forever mate of almost 47 years in November, just before Thanksgiving, suddenly and unexpectedly. I understand your feelings of loss and the overwhelming sense of no longer being in control of your life. Some days just getting up, showered and dressed seems like a monumental task. I have left everything just as it was the night before he died. I cannot imagine not wearing my wedding ring forever. His band is on a chain along with a tear drop pendant that holds some of his ashes that our daughters purchased for me. Now our hearts beat as one. I know one day I will find my way in life again, but not yet… the path is still too littered and rocky. Take your time making your way, follow where your heart takes you, it knows best at this time. In deepest sympathy.

    • Mary Bernuth
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      Dear Joan,

      Thank you so much for your reply. I’m holding you in my heart for your loss and feel a special connection that we both lost our beloveds on August 26th. I too look at his pictures every night and reach my hand across to “his side” to check in with him. Right now, I’m wearing my wedding ring and have simply no idea when that will change. I put together a shelf in his old office, now my office, with special mementos including his wedding ring. I am wearing a small silver pendant that my step daughter and our daughter had made that has our initials and thirty years engraved. On the other side they engraved “Something So Right”, the name of a Paul Simon song – a favorite of Jim’s. Thank you again for reaching out. I feel both comfort and sadness that we share this experience.

      Sending you my warmest thoughts,

  9. Mary Bernuth
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    Dear Gail, Thank you so much for your guidance. I have not written in a journal yet but think I will take your idea to heart. Yes, we are so fortunate to have had a great love. Despite the daily crying and unfathomable sadness, I often feel gratitude more than grief.

  10. Barbara
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    I’m having a cremation ring made with my husbands ashes and will wear that instead of of my wedding ring. I’m revising our wedding vow of “Till death do us part.”

  11. kathleen
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    My wedding ring has 13 diamonds across the top and I am having every other one removed and replaced with my birthstone to honor the past/my marriage as well as celebrating my 60th birthday and moving forward.

  12. Julie
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    I lost my husband about 2 1/2 years ago. I feel like I am still grieving. He was the best person I knew. I am still wearing my wedding rings. I took his wedding ring and had our jeweler place a heart shape made with diamonds in the middle of it. I wear it on a longer chain so that I can wear my other necklace with it. I have seen where some have the ring itself shaped into a heart necklace. I am trying to decide whether to continue wearing my rings or get another ring. But they are so special to me that is it a hard decision.

  13. Barb
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    It is a hard decision to make and when is personal I think and. it takes time

  14. Joyce Turner
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    My husband of 34 years passed away December 30,2020. I never knew anything could hurt so much. I put a ring adjuster on his rings and wear them on my night hand. It gives me comfort.

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