A Widow’s basic needs are fairly simple:
Love – belonging, friendships, involvement
Power – being in control, recognition, skill
Fun – Laughter, play, enjoyment, hobbies
Freedom – having a choice, independence, money, health
Love means belonging, relationships at work, social groups, supporters (doctor, minister etc.), neighbors, partner and family. They all provide ways to satisfy our need to belong.
In order to have people who really care about you and whom you care about, you must first love and care about “yourself”.
This brings up the second item on the list: POWER and not being afraid to give yourself some recognition when you have achieved something, finished a difficult task or done a good deed.
It may be hard to believe that FUN is a basic need, but fun comes in many forms and doesn’t have to be crazy. Anything that gives you pleasure can be fun.
In the end if your basic need for FREEDOM is not there, then you cannot meet your other basic needs. You need to have choices and freedom of movement in order to gain love, power and fun. True freedom is allowing yourself to want what you want and to go after it.
I know this journey can be hard and it’s hard to even think about pursuing happiness when we are grieving, but it is part of our healing. There may come a time, when in pursuit of happiness, you start thinking about dating again. Loving again can fill us with joy, pierce our loneliness and bring us true happiness, but only if we choice wisely.
To help you with this subject I have a Dating Guide available online. Please check out the link for the free sample pages.
Dating Guide for Widows