Are You a Widow Because of Suicide

Widowed by suicide – your heart and brain are in conflict and they are pulling you apart.

Your heart wants to grieve for the loss of your husband, the loss of having someone to love and that your on your own.

But your logical brain wants to acknowledge that your free of the responsibility of being married to a sick spouse, that you have money enough to live on and to do things that you have been unable to do in the past.

You need to bring your heart and brain together so you can have peace.

They both need to be acknowledged – grieve for the loss of the man you married and loved. Grieve for the loneliness you are feeling and grieve that you are on your own and confused about what you want to do.

But also let your logical brain be grateful that you are alive, that you have the funds to keep your home and do fun things- like new hobbies and travel.

Let your brain be grateful so that your broken heart can heal.

Start doing, listening and watching positive and motivational things.

Do something positive like redecorating one room of your house. The positive fun of picking colours and making a change will be good for you.

I have a closed facebook page called “The Sisterhood of Widows – Closed Group for Widows”. Please request to join and answer all three security questions. It’s an open discussion group that is private and the widows talk about everything. There are other widows there whose husbands have died from suicide.

Lastly and most importantly you are needed in this world and you matter.

4 Responses

  1. Michelle Haggard
    | Reply

    But what if you are the reason they died? How do I deal with that.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Michelle – You are not and never will be the reason they took their own life. He made that decision. Lots of people have very bad things that happen to them and yet they don’t kill themselves. He had a mental illness and just like a physical illness, you are not responsible for it. Please seek out some professional support because you are not the reason he died. It was his mental health that took his life. Mary Francis

  2. Cindy Fritsch
    | Reply

    My husband committed suicide November 29, 2018. Wow, I can’t believe that what you wrote exactly matches my thoughts. I am so torn. Feeling sadness and loneliness, yet relief that I am finally at peace. I always wondered what life would be like to be free of the craziness of years. Somethings aren’t quite what I expected and other things are better. I am working towards finding myself and my joy that has been lost for a long time

  3. Diane
    | Reply

    You really pigeonholed the post.
    I am widowed to suicide, but he spent all my money before he killed himself.
    I am now in debt, which I had not been before I married him.
    So my situation is very different.

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