Perfect Widow is Not Possible

Widows like me run into trouble when they try to go all the way being perfectionists. You have to learn to reduce your anxiety about being perfect when grieving.

Giving up that delusional hope of being flawless will allow you to seek happiness in the only place it can be found: your real, messy, imperfect life.

Releasing your unrealistic expectations opens you to the joy available in your actual life – especially if you simply allow yourself to be imperfect.

Choose something you’ve always wanted to do – paint, music, whatever. Now set out to do it really badly. Reward yourself for even doing it. Just trying for it, showing up in your life makes you a genuine person.

Welcome to real life as an imperfect widow.

3 Responses

  1. Amy
    | Reply

    Have been a widow for 1 year now. I feel worse than when it first happened. I feel like someone took me out of my house and placed me in the middle of the rainforrest and told me to find my way home. I am so lost and need help or sime guidance. I will never be the same

  2. fpp
    | Reply

    I have been a widow for 7 1/2 years. Trying to keep up maintenance of house and yard. After retiring 2 years ago, I was letting projects and other things get to me. It’s very disappointing to hire someone to do a job and find out months later that it was a shoddy job indeed. Now, I have to get a second opinion on work. I refuse to hire someone like that again. I feel like a fool. I do try and do projects myself…thanks to YouTube. After I gave up my evening and sometimes daytime glasses of wine to self medicate, when something goes wrong, I now deal with stuff and move on. (My anti-depressants work better and my health has been a lot better.) Being a widow is sure a long, lonely road sometime. Since I’ve stopped drinking, I have lost a dear friend…I guess she thought that was the only thing that we had in common…maybe she is right.

    Mary Francis, you are right in saying “do what you want to do, even if you do it badly.

    • Amy
      | Reply

      Understand completly about lawn care. I spent money hiring 3 different people and not one did job in full. I dont know where to get reliable help. I thought maybe people had compassion for the widowed but was not the case. Biblically the bible commands us to take care of the widowed and fatherless. Very dissapointing.

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