Widows need to protect themselves from people and things that drain their emotional energy. While grieving we have precious little energy and cannot afford to lose anymore.
1. The first energy drain is other people’s expectations for you. The answer is to set yourself free by saying “That’s not what I want to do.”
2. Worry never helps and it just exhausts us. Action is the cure for worry. Do something about your worry or if there isn’t anything you can do, let it go.
3. Holding onto loss can drain you. If its fresh then grief is need – take time off work, cry, stay home, let it all come out. But then let your broken heart heal, you will know when you are ready.
4. Over commitment happens when you’re always saying “Yes” to volunteer or help others. Don’t be afraid to say “No” every once in a while. Just because your a widow doesn’t mean that you don’t have a life of your own.
It’s never selfish for a widow to protect her energy. Unlike physical energy, which naturally runs down as we get older, emotional energy can increase as we learn what works best for us.