Life is very emotional for widows and we need to be calm when things are out of control, but how do we do that when everything we know is forever changed?
First you need to question what really matters to you. Who are you when the chips are down? There is a thin line between pride (healthy) and ego (not).
If things are out of control, step back and step out of your ego so you can see the truth. What is within your control and what is not? What role did you play in this?
Recognize that every choice you make comes from pride or ego and the only way forward is to make better choices. We all have our moments when we need to know who we are and what we stand for. When you lose your loved one, everything is hard. There is no question that changing the way you think about your situation is key to working your way to healing.
Step by step you can do it. So when things are out of control ask yourself, “Why is this happening? – Is there something I can do to calm things down and if so what are my choices?”
You can achieve calmness by writing out a statement of what you do want. Write it before bedtime so your mind can focus on your wants as you sleep.
Tune out distractions as they only add to your stress and stay tuned into what you do want. Every hour in the day – stop and just take a few minutes to breath deeply – a time out moment just for you.
If you find fear taking your calm away, start stating what you are grateful for or write it in your journal. Being calm is not living in fear, but instead accepting the present moment for what it is.