Friends to Detox

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I know as a widow that you have already lost your husband and that you need your friends, but are you trying to hold onto friends who aren’t really worth holding onto?  A friend is not a friend if they don’t want the best for you or when they are not there for you until it suits them.

If you find yourself holding back your grief because you fear that they won’t approve, that is not a friendship.  If they judge you, don’t want you to grow or try to fit you into their mold, they are not your friend.

Friendships often have unspoken rules about what is allowed and what is forbidden.  Some are that maybe your equally miserable, you have to stay overweight together, or never gain weight, can’t move, change carees and the list goes on.  But what if your husband’s death has changed you in ways that no longer fit that friendship?

If your trying to stay one way to suit your friend, its time to take a serious look at your friendship. Not every friendship is meant to last a life time.  Some are work friendships that change with your career.  Some lead to new friends or are just not meant to be.

It takes courage, maturity and honesty to assess the vitality of our friendships after the death of our spouses.


  1. Valeria
    | Reply

    Bob & I were always pretty selective in who we allowed into our intimate private circle – 99% of those friends are still with me now.

    But it was always family that was the wild card.

    Family, now that Bob is no longer here, are the ones that are falling away.

    I don’t think that is normal behavior …

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