Being A Widow Is Not For The Fainthearted

It may be hard to believe, but you will survive this journey.  It’s important in the healing process to believe that you will heal.  Tell yourself often, “I am alive and I will survive”.

First thing is to get help if you are feeling suicidal – call a Suicide Prevention Hotline at once.  Call Directory Assistance and ask for “The Suicide Prevention Hotline” phone number.

Seek professional help, or at the very least someone you trust, when you feel out of control.  Are you thinking about taking actions you may regret, have a history of emotional disturbance, feelings of isolation and that no one cares?  It takes courage to ask for help.

You will survive, but you have to believe that life is worth fighting for and that you matter.  You are strong enough to bear your loss – you are alive and you will survive.  It’s ok to feel your fears, but it is also important to question their truth.

It’s also ok to feel numb and shock for awhile.  If you feel nothing its just your mind taking some time out to protect itself.  Although you may be frightened by it, lean into your pain and admit that you’re hurting.

All feelings are ok and are part of your healing process.  You survive by letting yourself feel and grieve.  Don’t deny it, cover it up or run away from it.  Be with your pain and let yourself hurt for a while because pain from loss is normal and natural.

6 Responses

  1. Merry Romanowski
    | Reply

    Hello, my name is Merry. My husband passed on August 2nd. I have been through a whole range of emotions. I’m devastated. We met late in life, I was 50 and he was 63. I’m now 56 and he died at 69. I miss him so much. We on!y had six wonderful years. How do I become a part of the blog community? Are there others who post that I can read? I’ve been trying to get grief counseling but any therapists I find that are contracted with my insurance, are not accepting new clients. Maybe this community will help. Thank you

  2. Janet Elaine kuhlmann
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    Hi my husband was diagnosed with cancer and died 11 days later he was 54 years old . We had met and fell in love at age 15 yrs old. Move in with each other at 18 and married at 27 . its been almost 6 yrs now since he died and I miss him so much I loved him so much. I am better as time goes by because I can talk about him sometimes without crying. And my days are better because he’s not all I think about. My nights are better because I don’t hold on to his shirt that he wore last and want to smell it and keep it under my pillow. But I still cry and wish he was here with me. I still feel lost without him and dream of him. Thanks

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Janet – It’s normal to be grieving, after all he was part of your life for so long. It’s hard to get rebalanced and find our way as single ladies but we do it because we are worth living for. Please continue to follow my blogs and get all the free information to help you on this journey. If there is anything I can help you with please let me know. Mary Francis

  3. Cathy Esposito
    | Reply

    Hi Mary I came across this sight, I have been a widow for 2 1/2 years and I am still struggling to get through everyday life. His death was sudden (heart attack) and since then I have been very depressed (I suffered with depression before this happened). I feel very alone as most of my friends are married my children are grown and out of the house. Today being a holiday is especially hard as are weekends when I am not working. It’s hard to find something to do or someone to be with all of the time. I was hoping to join your group and make contacts with other women who are going through what I am experiencing.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Cathy – I’m sorry for your loss and I think all of us widow find the holidays and weekends especially hard. There is a blog on my website that you can subscribe to, three free guides that you can download from the website, a public Facebook Page and a closed Facebook Page called “The Sisterhood of Widows – Closed Group for Widows” that will be helpful on your journey. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. Mary Francis

    • Merry
      | Reply

      Hi Cathy,
      Yes…thank you for posting me a reply. I struggled yesterday as well. For some reason, I feel better placing my feelings here instead of the Facebook group. I feel the need to be private and even though I know the Facebook group is a private group, I only want to post here for now. I feel as you do, weekend and holidays are so incredibly lonely… I miss Harry so much. Work is work now, I use to love my job. I put so much into it and now I don’t care about it at all. I’m there for others and I need the paycheck but my career has lost its life for me. Thanks for listening and please know, I really appreciate you message to me. 👼💕

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