Widows Cherish Their Friends

One of the biggest challenges we widows face is loneliness.  It’s easy for me to tell you to join groups and learn new things, but what if you are naturally an introvert?

The easiest thing is to cherish the friends that you already have.  I know that I am a closer, better friend now then when I was married.

I need my friends and they have made room in their lives for me.  But I try to give back to them so that it doesn’t become a one sided friendship.  As a widow, I soon learned that marriage isn’t the only close relationship I could have.

Turn any acquaintance into a friend by inviting her to do something fun with you.  Having a mutually fun experience with someone is one of the strongest, most authentic ways too build a friendship.

Widowhood, it seems, helped me grow into a better person – never a bad thing.  Isn’t it ironic that I had to lose my husband to learn the value of friendships?

I’m here to tell you that you will gain strength as you go along, and with that a new and wider value for your cherished friends.

And most important, is the knowledge that the best friend you have is yourself.

5 Responses

  1. Jane
    | Reply

    Thank you Mary for the advice. I am not real good at making friends since I do not feel like I have much to offer right now. Husband was sick for about 2 1/2 years and I was isolated and saw it coming but still numb. He passed a month ago. I did not reach out to make new friends when he was sick and my sisters and the rest of my family live 5 hours away in another state. Only have one friend that lives in the same city but she lives on the other side. I call friends and family a state away but it’s not the same as being physically close to someone. Support group doesn’t start until November that I can join. Work 40+ hours a week in a stressful law firm. Not sure if I should just distract myself or vent. I am pretty strong or I was through his illness. This is harder than I thought it would be.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Jane I worked in management/ government for 36 years and when Donnie died I thought I had a handle on my emotions. I was deceiving myself. Grieving is by far the most emotional and stressful thing I’ve gone through so don’t deny it like I did. I thought I just needed to stay busy – not true.

      It is hard, it is emotional, but it is not a reflection of your strength. Grief has to have its time so don’t try to rush it. I found other widows could relate to what I was going through and just talking to them released some of my built up stress. Hope this helps, take care. Mary Francis

      • Jane
        | Reply

        Mary- Thank you for responding so quickly and understanding. I will heed your advice and not be in such a hurry.

  2. kimmi
    | Reply

    my hubby is expiree last two and a half years it is to difficult for a survive

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Kimmi – Sorry for your loss. Please get out and socialize as much as possible because it helps to share your journey with others.
      Take care, Mary Francis

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