Death Ends a Life, Not a Relationship

I hope you can find the healing power in grieving. If you hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you will never get to heal because you’re too busy being afraid.

You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that love brings. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say “All right. I have experienced grief and now I need to move from it and start to heal”.

Same for loneliness: experience it fully, let the tears flow, feel the deep ache of being alone. But eventually be able to say, “All right. I know loneliness, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and open myself to the other emotions in the world and I’m going to experience them to the fullest”.

As long as we can love each other, and remember the feelings of love we had, we can live. All the love we created is still there. All the memories are still there. We live on in the hearts of everyone we touched when we lived.

The death of our loved one ended their life, but the memories and love of the relationship will never end.

2 Responses

  1. Cathy Esposito
    | Reply

    This all makes so much sense but after 2 1/2 years i have still not reached the point of moving on from my grief and healing, I think I am better than what I was but still very lonely. Today is saturday weekends are always tough hard getting out of bed and planning what to do with the whole day. I remember how busy the weekends could be and now its a struggle just to get through the two days I work during the week so I guess that is a good thing I cant imagine having to fill up 7 days a week. As time goes by I just feel like i’m so lost without my husband and miss my life with him (39 years) so much. I don’t have very many friends in my situation and I envy that they still have a marriage and someone to be with on a saturday night. The fall is coming and with that the holidays will be coming as well so I can’t help thinking about that. I just need to know that it will get better and I will be able to move on.

    • Beth Crawford
      | Reply

      Oh Cathy, I feel your pain. My husband of 41 years passed August 17th of this year. The loneliness is so overwhelming sometimes, I feel like shattered glass. Yesterday my daughter and son in law and I went out of town shopping, and to see couples my age together doing the every day things just totally shattered me. Until I can imagine joy in my life again, I don’t know if I’ll ever find it.

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