We all hope to be healthy into old age, and then die peacefully in our sleep. But, I wouldn’t count on such a quick and easy exit from this life.
As widows we should be cultivating our emotional circle of friends and families as they will be the most valuable part of our old age.
To stay attractive we need to spend more time focusing on our inner selves and less time having facelifts. Now is the time to make and keep good friends because the older we get the more important they will become. Researchers aren’t certain why, but they’re finding a strong link between health and quality of life of older perople, and their social/community engagements.
Friendship test questions to ask yourself: “If I get ill, who will continue to see me?” and “What friend would provide care if I had an operation?” Understanding the need for friendships is one thing but making and keeping friends will take a deliberate effort on your part. It helps to belong to a multitude of groups around a vast diversity of subjects.
The longer you live, the more family and friends you will lose. Family and friends that we choose to spend our old age with. You will have a tough time aging well if you don’t know yourself, and if you don’t accept yourself – learning to be comfortable in your own skin. One helping tool is to avoid comparing yourself with others. This will help you gain self-acceptance for the long life still ahead of you. Self-acceptance builds on knowing and accepting that you are an amazing person just as you are.
You need people you trust to be your most trusted advisers, to let you know when your behavior is inappropriate. Everyone should have that kind of person in their life, someone who will nicely tell you what you don’t want to hear.
We can’t change the fact that we are growing older, instead we have to change our attitude about aging and keeping our independence.
Benefits to a long life:
- We worry less because we have fewer responsibilities.
- We have more control of our time.
- We accept ourselves for what we are.
- We can express our opinions openly and honestly.
- We can be fun to be with and express our humour.
- Regret for things we didn’t do.
- For missed opportunities to have fun.
- For not being the best at something that we knew was there for us.
- Regrets in parenting.
- For not enjoying the “Present moment”, looking at the past or worrying about the future.
Research has found that setting personal goals, coupled with a willingness to take risks, are linked to healthy aging. Make sure you have some project, something to look forward to – even if its just to visit friends outside of your city or to learn a new skill.
Mental fitness for a long life, is simply seizing the present moment and making the best of it.