Is Therapy Risky For Widows?

It’s not surprising how little widows know about therapy.  Some seem to assume that it’s for widows that are totally unbalanced.  Others have bravely gone for help, had a terrible experience, and have given up on therapy altogether.

If you’re in either category, you may want to reconsider because good psychotherapy is one of the best things you can do.

Therapy is most effective for basically healthy widows who have been hurt in the heart.  The truth is time only heals those wounds that are shared and understood.

There are literally thousands of diagnostic tests you could take to determine whether therapy might be useful to you.  But when it comes right down to it, you only have two questions to answer to know whether counseling could improve your life.

  1.  Do I always or almost always feel joy of living?
  2.  Do I have at least one loving, open and honest relationship with another person?

If the answer to both is “yes”, you don’t really need psychotherapy.  If the answers are “no”,  then you are suffering alone and you deserve what good therapy can give you.

A good therapist will give you a sense of validation and they are trained to help you.  So, if the first therapist wasn’t a fit for you, then don’t give up because there a lots of them out there.

3 Responses

  1. Becky
    | Reply

    I started grief therapy about 6 weeks ago because I wasn’t “healing” after the death of my husband of 30+ years December 6th of 2019. I canceled my appointment today because it doesn’t seem to be helping. I dread going because it just seems to intensify the all consuming pain I feel daily anyway. Everyone says it will get better. That time will heal the wounds. I don’t know how much time it’s going to take but it needs to get better soon because I am hanging on by threads now. I work full time and added a second job to fill in the alone time but that isn’t working either. I dread going home but can’t seem to find the energy to do much else.Oh well. Just venting I guess and that doesn’t lift the pain either. I abhor taking medications and don’t want to find a crutch.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Becky. You may have started therapy too soon after your husband’s death. There is nothing wrong with grieving and you don’t need to be fixed. Let yourself have some time to grieve and your broken heart should heal naturally. Take care, Mary Francis

  2. robert
    | Reply

    Hi Becky,Let yourself complete the process of your grief. Thirty years is a long time to be with one person.I admire your courage to move forward as you have. No one grieve the same ,some take a little longer than others. How long is too long? The 23rd Psalm have been a source of strength for many people in your place. Allow yourself to embrace the good times that you guys spent together, the funny things he would say and do. The times he would hold you in his arms; it’s ok”. You will be fine.
    ”The Comforter”

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