With a sudden death, relationships may be frozen in time with unanswered thoughts of “what if ” and “if only”.
Survivors guilt often has no basis in logic but can be a powerful emotional response to loss. It helps to do a careful examination of this part of your life and how you feel behind the loss. Doing so helps survivors see that they had no control of who dies and who doesn’t during an accident or natural disaster.
It’s natural to question why you survived while others did not. But I suggest that some questions just don’t have answers and may remain forever unanswerable.
The bottom line is that there really isn’t anything we can do but accept that life can be fragile and unpredicable.
Finally, our grief will just get more complicated if we get caught up in the “blame” game. If your loss is the result of the actions of others you need to accept that what is being harmed by your anger, is yourself and your future.
It’s okay to seek professional help as you process the multiple layers of feelings and be assured that you are not wrong or defective for feeling the way you do. Survivors guilt is real and it needs to be acknowledged so that your broken heart can start healing.