Are You Simply “Getting By”?

As widows we have had the joy of living knocked out of us.

Most of us settle for simply “getting by” as we grieve. We just let life happen to us instead of intentionally moving forward.

The question is, “How can we build a life that positively affects us and those around us?”

1. Don’t try to be someone else. Focus on becoming the very best “you” that you can be.

2. Be willing to say “No” so you have the energy and time to say “Yes” to better things. If you don’t decide what’s important to you, someone else will.

3. You can’t always control what happens around you, but you can choose how you respond. Refuse to play the blame game.

4. Focus on your goals and refuse to quit.

5. Courage to change is not the absence of fear, it is the willingness to face that fear and conquer it.

6. Begin to believe that anything is possible. Believe in yourself and what can happen when you stop settling and change from “getting by” to moving forward with purpose.

9 Responses

  1. Geri Ingrassia DiPalma
    | Reply

    I’m shutting myself off from family and friends and not sure how to move forward
    I think I might want to converse with a group in my area even if just via internet Can you help me find one?

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      I can’t advise a local group but you can join the online group for widows only. In Facebooks search bar type in “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private Group for Widows” and if you request to join please answer all three questions. This is a great place where the widows share, support and encourage each other. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

  2. sherry snyder
    | Reply

    I am beyond mixed up with myself. I am a firm believer in believing in yourself to be able to achieve goals; however it has been over 16 months since my Mike passed and I merely feel as if I am existing in this world. I don’t just sit back and, yes, do my gardening, read, exercise, whatever, but I still feel like a robot going thru motions. Crying is constant; especially when I have that sit down moment. I miss him so much I still feel the pain in that half crushed heart that remains in me. I feel as if I will never again be truly happy.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      I’m sorry Sherry for your pain. I have a channel on YouTube that may be of some help as it talks about many of our issues as we try to heal our broken hearts. The link to it is on my website. Take care and be safe.

  3. Lauryn
    | Reply

    Dear all,
    I lost my dear husband and best friend 5 months ago. I am living alone and have no family, so I have to do this pretty much alone. If anyone has any thoughts or encouragements, I would greatly appreciate them. I am in a support group for widows, but all of the women have family to help soften the loss. I do not and sometimes its hard to sit through those meetings. I do have a little dog who gives me comfort, but that’s it.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Lauryn. I’m sorry for your loss and loneliness. Join other widows to chat amongst the group by going to the search bar in Facebook and typing in “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private Group For Widows”. There are three security questions to answer. They support and encourage each other and I’m sure that group is what you are looking for. Take care, Mary Francis

  4. Jean McDermott
    | Reply

    I am newly widowed, April 2020. I know it is supposed to take time to deal with all the sides of grief. However I am finding it very hard to go forward. I don’t want to go on. I just want to join him on the other side of the veil. If I hear the phrase “I now know how you feel” I just might scream. I don’t think anyone who hasn’t lost the love of their life has a clue how painful it is.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Jean. You’re right that others don’t know your pain. Even other widows have their own journey and everyone is different. Hang in there because it will take time for your broken heart to heal. It does help to talk to other widows and to get out of the house. You’re welcome to join our private Facebook group. Take care, Mary Francis

  5. sherry snyder
    | Reply

    Hi Jean, I just want to add that it is a very long journey ahead. I will be 17 months this coming Tue without my love and it still hurts. Yes, you are right that they do not know our pain and I always say I would not wish this on anybody. This is a pain that we cannot even describe. Please join us on the Facebook page as the sisters there are fantastic at helping each other. ~virtual hugs~ to you from Panama City, Fl

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