Signs of Dangerous Grief Stress

No doubt about it, we widows are stressed and that is normal, but we may be under more stress than we can handle.

Things to watch out for:
1. Being irritable with things you normally tolerate.
2. Lack of sleep and being exhausted every morning.
3. A feeling that you are on the edge and falling over.
4. Physically unhealthy – frequent headaches or stomach pains.
5. Easily distracted.
6. Feeling forgetful and lacking interest in your future.
7. Self-talk is always on the negative side.
8. Using alcohol, drugs, food or shopping to help you relax.
9. Passive living, with no goals or passion.
10. Isolating from others and not leaving your home.

Tips if your grief stress is getting dangerous:
1. Play some complex puzzles and games.
2. Learn a foreign language or music instrument.
3. Keep a private journal.
4. Write letters to family and friends.
5. Talk to others who have also suffered a loss.
6. Study and memorize scripture.
7. Choose an activity to enjoy that fits your lifestyle.
8. Have some quiet time before going to sleep – no t.v. or cell phone.
9. Wake up and go to bed same time every day.
10. Socialize weekly and be open to meeting new friends.
11. Have a doctor checkup – health tests, quit smoking and healthy weight.
12. Make a list of all the things in the future you want to do and plan for it.

Don’t let your grief stress shatter your hope and faith for a new future that you create instead of just letting happen. Your grief stress should not suppress your memories, silence your courage or conquer your spirit. You are stronger then you give yourself credit for – Yes, you are!

9 Responses

  1. Gerri
    | Reply

    Lonely,scared and so lost. I feel so cheated. I want to be with him.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Gerri. I’m sorry for your loss but believe me when I say that it helps to share with other widows. Please request to join our widows only group in Facebook. There are three security questions to answer to be cleared for our Private group on “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private Group for Widows Only” in Facebook. Thank you and take care. Mary Francis

  2. Judi Welch
    | Reply

    This covid lockdown is just the worst thing for us at this time. To be alone, without hugs and affection is a cruel addition to our grief. I miss Tom more than ever as I approach the one year mark of his sudden death. This is a comforting site. Thank You!

    • Melissa
      | Reply

      I agree I lost my husband suddenly no warning in his sleep eating is a challenge and I’m exhausted and scared about everything then covid hit and I lost everything including my work and 100% of my income I have little family and no children I’m with friends at the moment but I just want to go to sleep and not wake up like my mike did💔I’m so lost

  3. Milly Perez
    | Reply

    I lost my husband on May 28 2020. Married for 36 years and dated for almost 8.. for a total of 44 years.
    We did everything together. He loved me and our daughter dearly.

    I feel lost and angry at life.
    I am seeking for desperate advise and comfort.

    Please help

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Milly. I’m so sorry for you and your daughters loss. There are three free guides offered as downloads on this website. There is also my blog, and a resource page full of links to other websites that offer support and encouragement. You don’t have to do this alone. Others understand and can help your heart to heal. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

    • Judi Welch
      | Reply

      Hello Milly,,,,it is just so new and you are in shock. This is especially true if you didn’t expect your husband’s death. My dear husband of 40 years died suddenly in my arms almost one year ago. I tried to revive him until the paramedics came. He was gone . My happy life changed so suddenly. It will be a year on June 10th.
      You will go through phases where it feels easier,but the first few months are so very sad, frightening and lonely. The isolation we are all living with now complicates an already devastating time in our lives. Just get through one day at a time and try to focus on the happy times you shared together. Be gentle with yourself. Do whatever helps you heal. You will make it ,,,,we understand your pain.

  4. Milly Perez
    | Reply

    Thank you Mary and Judi for your response.

  5. Lorraine Whitman
    | Reply

    This is where I am. My husband passed away suddenly 1/5/20 with me watching. I’m 51 and my first husband passed away in his sleep when I was 41. I am dying inside. Social distancing is killing me slowly. The only person I see is my 85 year old mother who lives with me because she has dementia. Not sure how to move forward. I crave both real alone time, but that’s impossible with my childlike, self-centered mother and social time which is impossible in the time of COVID. Besides, I no longer have friends. I am hopeful I can find some glimmer of light that will give me a reason to keep breathing.

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