For Widows – It Is What It Is

My Mom died a few years before my husband. How I wish she could have been there for me. Whenever life took a bad turn Mom would say “It is what it is”. In her way she was telling me that I have to move forward, because there is nothing I can do about it.

That was always good advice and I will remember it till the day I die. Problems and mistakes of the past can never fully be erased, but it’s now time to live my life in the present.

Yes, when you lose a loved one you must grieve and do so fully without hiding your pain behind a mask. We widows need to grieve, but when it’s time we can choose happiness as we move forward.

That happiness doesn’t just fall in our laps. It takes effort and self-discipline. It takes a willingness to be open to new ways and a desire to grow. It takes hope and faith and some courage too. But through it all we always have options on how we react to these changes.

I believe that we heal by changing the way we look at our world. Widows no longer look through rose-colored glasses, but in time we also no longer see it all as bleak and dark. We start to have a better sense of balance between the two. With our broken hearts we see more beauty, more hope, blessings and outcomes even in our deepest points of despair.

We learn that “it is what it is” and that we can create a happy life simply by focusing on a positive mental outlook. We can’t change our loss, but knowing that we have options empowers us so that we don’t feel helpless. In fact it does even more than that, it brings us awareness that this is our life and we are in charge of it.

4 Responses

  1. Sherry Andre
    | Reply

    I lost my husband of 27 years on May 21, 2020. I’m trying so hard to push through each day, each second. My heart aches I miss him so much. He was my best friend. How do I find the tools to move forward?

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Oh Sherry. It has only been a month into your journey, and you need to grieve before your broken heart can heal. When your ready I have a full page of resources to help you on both my resource page and product page. One important thing is that you don’t have to do this on your own. Take
      Care and be safe. Mary Francis

  2. Sherry Andre
    | Reply

    I should mention he was 55 years old. I’m 54. It’s overwhelming.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      I suddenly lost my husband of 27 years when he was 53 and I was 50. There is no easy way to heal. Look for people that will listen to you talk about your loss and know that it takes time.

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