My Journey As A Widow

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After Donnie died I had no purpose and felt no joy or happiness in living.  For me to become an author and counselor took a personal commitment to go after my dreams, no matter what the cost.

Once I realized that my life’s purpose was to help other widows, I turned my life upside down to create this future.

My first workshop is a perfect example as I wanted widows to grieve, but also to heal.  I was really scared to put myself out there and do something I had dreamed about doing.  What if I wasn’t good enough?  What would happen if I failed to help them?  That day I learned a very important lesson – If you never try, you never know and your dream fades away.

Just doing nothing, was tempting.  I had a career and didn’t need this added stress.  But after I had written my book, I just couldn’t let my passion for “The Sisterhood of Widows” stop .

You see the book is all about sixteen widow’s journey from grieving to healing, but to me while the grieving is necessary, the healing of our broken hearts is the hardest part of our journey.  That’s what keeps me going – widows like myself.

Knowing how far I’ve come since I published my book ten years ago, keeps me focused on how far I still have to go.  That’s the power of thought and desire.

My thoughts have created this powerful place for widows to get the support and encouragement they need to heal.

Our thoughts shape our lives.  We all have the tools needed to change our thoughts, to create our future and start living the life of our dreams.  It’s a choice you make, not something that just happens to you.

A widow will live her life on purpose when her commitment to her life is bigger than her fear of change.

9 Responses

  1. Sherry Andre
    | Reply

    Exactly. You miss 100% of the chances you never take. My husband has been gone a little over a month. It’s so raw for me. I don’t don’t how to live the “I” life; it has always been “we” for 30 years.

    • Sharon
      | Reply

      Sherry, I understand the not knowing how to live the “I” life. My husband passed from suicide less than a month ago and it was all so tragic. Everything weeks prior was so bizarre, shocking, and sad that I am having a hard time balancing it all. I cry a lot and go through ups and downs every single day not understanding why.

  2. Deea Smith
    | Reply

    I miss my husband so much. We were high school sweethearts and were married for 27 years. He died from cancer at the age of 52 after battling the disease for 6 years. It’s been two years now since he’s been gone but it feels like it was just yesterday. I have two beautiful adult children who have been awesome supporting me which only makes me feel worse because I feel I should be strong for them, they lost a wonderful father. I just don’t know how to move on. I decided to seek out other widows for help and came across your page. The hardest part is moving on alone and finding my purpose in life as a widow. Thank you for being there for those of us who feel isolated and alone but have faith that we too will at some point get through this heartbreak.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Deea. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s okay for your children to see you grief. It helps them to understand that it’s healthy to show our feelings and not bury them inside where it causes even more stress. My husband died at 53 and it’s hard to understand why, but life does go on but first our broken heart has to heal. Take care of yourself and know you are important to those that love you. Mary Francis

    • Stella Ngcobo
      | Reply

      Dear Mary
      I came upon sisterhoodofwidows whilst looking for something I wanted to send a widowed sister I met at Spiritual Formation weekend. I could see myself in her. As soon as she got to know we had something in common, she never left my side. I told her how starting a journal in which I write letters to my beloved Kate husband, Cosmas had helped me heal.
      I am thrilled that I am now connected to a wonderful group of Sisters, I hope our association will be a special one. Strange coincidence and maybe that is what drew me to you, is in 2018 November my Parish Priest asked me to share my journey as a ” not even a year old” widow. I gave the title”There’s Sisterhood in Widowhood” . Realising how I was battling to cope with the loss of a wonderful husband and father, he tasked me to start a group for bereaved parishioners 🙆. I didn’t know where to start and what to do .
      He called a meeting and told us this was how were going to heal ourselves and one another. It has been quite a journey, I have grown in ways I could not have imagine possible. Milestone after milestone brings out a new me who has been locked in.
      Once more thank you Mary❤️🙏🏽

      • Mary Francis
        | Reply

        Thank you Stella for sharing your journey and for the help you are giving others. Take care and be safe, Mary Francis

  3. Crystal
    | Reply

    Dear Mary,
    I lost my husband on April 7, 2020 he had a heart attack on the job. We were married 32 years. We had moved to San Clemente CA 5 years ago and were having the time of our lives. Our 3 girls were on their own and we had our first grandchildren, now 3 and 5. I am heartbroken. I miss him sooo much it physically hurts. I have had a couple of bad days and I came across your site. I am truly grateful for what I have read so far. Thank you for the encouraging words.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Thank you Crystal for your kind words. It is important that we widows support and encourage each other. I appreciate it when I’m told that my work makes a difference.

      Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

  4. Adeboyin
    | Reply

    I lost my husband on 15th March 2020 at age of 38 while I’m 37, our marriage is just ten years with two kids 10 and 7. I miss everything about my husband. I just come across your site today and I’m blessed with it.

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