When you are young and things don’t turn out, you can always tell yourself “maybe next year”. That’s the beauty of being young – there are lots of second chances.
But as time passes, how do you acknowledge that life isn’t going as planned and you may never achieve what you have dreamed of?
Dashed dreams need “radical acceptance”. There needs to be a willingness to recognize and tolerate what is “reality”, rather than to fight it. It’s a way to free yourself from old dreams so you can focus on true possibilities.
The question is, “How do you accept the fact that what you want won’t be found in your past and yet still build a full and vibrant life?”
Often a widow becomes bitter because her focus is on the negative parts of her life, instead of opening her perspective to her entire life span and being grateful for what she still has. We will never say that the loss of our husbands is okay. But, radically accepting and living with our loss is our only option. We don’t deny the pain of our loss, but we do learn to live with our loss.
Radical acceptance is saying out loud that our loss is a fact and we accept it. The truth is that we are not trying to make it okay. We are trying to accept it as fact, because that’s the way to get unstuck and move forward.