Widows and Regrets

Big decisions make me nervous.  No problem when buying clothes or ordering lunch, but moving, buying a new car or making financial decisions are another matter, and some part of me always wonders whether I’m making the best choice.

I just picked up my new car today.  It took me a month and repeat visits to almost every different car dealerships in my city.  Should I buy new?  Should I buy one year old, with low mileage?  Should I pay some down and keep my payments slow?  Who has the best warranty?

I’m okay with not being perfect and it’s clear that I’m not.  I just want to steer clear of future regrets, frustration and self-blame as they all suck the energy out of me.

In the dark, long days of grief, it’s natural to spend time internally focused, looking back over our lives.  We should learn from our past, grow from our decisions and come to a place of greater wisdom and clarity.

But sometimes regret takes over and it affects our moods and health.  I’m convinced that regret prevents us from grieving and healing.  It keeps us stuck in the past and destroys our peace of mind.

The key to controlling regret is to learn from it and then let it go.  Use positive rationalization to minimize negative feelings over regrettable actions.

Find a silver lining that makes the pain worthwhile.  As in – what did you learn and how can you use that to be wiser going forward.  Regret – use it to grow and it will never be able to hold you down.

So, after a month of car shopping I finally made a decision, signed the papers and picked up my new car.  I can tell you now that it was so freeing driving my new car and having all the decisions done with.  Lesson learned – go for it, because fear of change brings more regrets than anything else.

  1. sherry snyder
    | Reply

    My big decision was selling his truck. It was doing me no good sitting in front of the house so I just had to do it. Only thing I asked the person who bought it was to pick it up when I wasnt home. I just didnt want to see it being driven off of the property without it being my Mike driving it. It looked odd to me when I got home from work and didnt see it sitting there. It looked wrong the next morning that it wasnt there, but I know I made the right choice. I believe he was proud of me for it.

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