How Do I Mend My Broken Heart?

I know, it seems impossible, but you can make it through your grief.  Widows are not passive observers of their life – they are active participants and their broken hearts happen through them, not to them.

We can heal what we are ready to acknowledge and accept our grief, and it’s all on us as no one else can mend our broken hearts for us.

What did you need and want, but did not ask for, what you know in your heart, but chose to ignore anyway?

Rather than retelling the hurts that have happened, get clear about who you want to be moving forward.  Focus on asking for what you need and want, to support your new future.  To truly feel better, you must be committed to taking action steps.  You must make that first move, that hard first step, no matter how difficult.

Give yourself permission to try and fail.  Give yourself all the time you need and know that you simply cannot feel this sad forever, your broken heart will heal.

You need something else from life, something new.  Go with an open mind.  Try things out, life is full of possibilities.  The future shouldn’t be about finding just the right thing to fill the void.  You don’t need a specific solution, a magic fix; instead you need a new outlook for embracing and trying out new things.

Be determined to have a future filled with adventures and people you haven’t yet dreamed of. You turn a corner in your grief journey and see all that is available – don’t hold back.

This is where you need to pick friends wisely.  Like attracts like and if you are in a negative mindset your friends are probably supporting you in all ways – both good and bad.

Look for friends that have positive qualities that will not only help you mend your broken heart, but also support you as you try out new things.

7 Responses

  1. CAROL
    | Reply

    My question is that , how do you move on , financially, No matter how much you love and miss the warm hand to hold at night.
    The financial part is literally making me sick. Since my husband passed , It is could happen financially , it has happened.
    I lost my job after 22 years and have 3 other jobs since last year. And now looking again. Used up almost 20 years of 401k money and have no other resources. It makes me sick every day to determine how to pay for needs to fixed and still have money to live day to day.

    My husband was Police Officer for 27 Years in Harris County, Texas . So of course there was not a large amount of life insurance and what I did have , i spent on my daughters medication , since she was diagnosed with a mental disorder and has become increasing worse since he died. I am physically and mentally exhausting . Any advise.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Carol. I’m so sorry for your loss. You need some sound finically advice. Someone who can go over all your income and expenses with you. They can also plan out what the correct steps are for you to take. If you can’t afford to pay for a professional then find free professional advice through your bank, senior centres or social affairs. Don’t try to do this on your own. Seek out professional help. Take care and be safe.

  2. Crystal Weld
    | Reply

    Thank you for today’s post! I really needed it.Its been 4 months since my husband past and I’m so tired of being so sad. It’s so painful and I miss everything about him so much. I want to move forward and your site has really helped me in just these few weeks that I signed up. So Thankyou for being here!

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Thank you Crystal for sharing your positive energy. Take care and be safe.

  3. Judy Absalom
    | Reply

    Thank you for the information. I’m so greatful to have something to read and fall back on supportively. Blessings, keep em coming!!

  4. Lynn
    | Reply

    I am really struggling with loosing my soulfmate after 26 years of marriage. We were together since the age of 16, have wonderful young adult children who still need him. His illness was short and unexpected. I still can’t believe this has happened. Like everyone else i can be fine but them become totally overwhelmed. I am just very sad, have no energy, and can’t imagine this changing. I plan to try going back to work in Sept. but am starting to wonder if I can manage. Any suggestions for how to cope at work or whst a reasonable time frame is to take off?

    Thanks,
    Lynn

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Lynn. What does “reasonable time frame” mean? That really depends of the widow and how her grief journey is. What is reasonable two weeks for one widow, may be too short for another widow. While two months may be perfect for someone but way too long for another. I went back in two weeks but didn’t last three days. Left for another month and was better when I came back. In hindsight I should have stayed out longer the first time. Do what you feel is right for you. Maybe a you can go back part time or half days. Doesn’t hurt to ask work what options they have available. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

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