Life Comparisons By Widows

I know, life falls short after our husband’s death.  We’ve all felt it, that pang of envy when you see couples out together.  Feelings of sadness after “liking” all of our friend’s couple vacation photos on Facebook.

Widows are more likely to be critical and have lower self-esteem when comparing themselves to others.  This unhealthy pattern took root when we were young girls looking for validation.  Our self-worth becomes tied to how we feel compared to others and this leads to feelings of unworthiness.

To protect yourself against feelings of lacking, list five things every morning that you are grateful for.  Now when you see images that prompt comparisons of “they have more than I do”, you’re more grounded in your truth of what you do have.

If they have taken a trip you wish to go on, then take some steps planning for that trip.  Research the area, price out places to stay and open a special account just for travel.  Use it as motivation to prevent further comparisons.

Social media shows things only in the best possible fashion and so we often feel that their life is perfect while our life isn’t.  Of course that’s not true, as most of us use our feed to show our best side.

By acknowledging that Facebook isn’t showing all that is real, you will break free from comparing yourself to others.  No one lives a life free of pain, differences of opinions, or losses – No One!!

4 Responses

  1. JaniceAnn
    | Reply

    I just recently found this sisterhood, I’m so happy I now have someone to share i’m looking forward to a new beginning and finally getting to know myself. My husband had contacted Parkinson’s disease 17 years ago and things really have not been The same. I know now that he is no longer suffering and is healthy and happy with our God!

  2. Linda Brown
    | Reply

    My husband passed away 2 1/2 weeks ago of cancer. We were together for 52 years and our anniversary is November 27th. I cry all the time and sick all over. I know he is in heaven waiting for me, but for now I feel so empty and heart broken.

  3. Kathy Bukowczyk
    | Reply

    My husband died suddenly from an illness from Viet Nam. He was my best friend and hero. I don’t think I can
    live without him. Why ahould I try?

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Kathy – you ask “Why should I try?” But I ask “why shouldn’t you try?”

      Your life is valuable.
      Your life matters.

      If you don’t see your value there is little I can say. But in my heart I know that your life is important and so please start a journal – writing not just what isn’t right but also what blessings ryou still have.

      Can you see?

      Can you walk?

      Can you talk?

      If so, you can reach out to others that can not. They need someone that cares. You could be that person.

      For them, your time and caring is more valuable then gold.

      So, yes you matter and you should try to live without him.

      Take care and be safe, Mary Francis

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