You Have Options

Are you stuck, unable to take the right steps to make your dreams a reality?

If you feel blocked, it isn’t because you don’t have the options to chart an exciting, meaningful journey.  The options are there – Yes they are, trust me!

Maybe your life has been filled with people saying things like: your stupid/ rude/ ridiculous/ old, etc.  Rejection hurts, we go dumb and deaf to the real truths and believe our enemies. The good news is that you have options and are free to take them.

The first step is to pay attention to your feelings.  Don’t discount them as silly or unimportant.  How are your feelings showing up in your body?  Write a detailed description of everything you’re feeling in your body; chronic exhaustion, headaches, lack of sleep, etc.

Know your options for the future you create, however you do it – writing daily in a journal, exercise, music, art, telling your story, they all break down the barriers between your broken heart and your options.

As you learn to understand your options, every choice you make will become another way of telling your story, on your terms.  It will chart you a life as unique and authentic as your fingerprint, and onto paths you never knew were available.

6 Responses

  1. Regina
    | Reply

    I have been widowed for nearly 5 months. I found my husband dead in his chair when I came home from work 4 hours after talking with him on the phone. I have gone from pure shock to trying to make sense out of this new life I was given in a heartbeat that I did not want nor ask for. I have gone from pure gut wrenching fear of what am I going to do to making decisions for what I need to do to survive. I am amazed at the roller coaster ride I have been on since his death. I am a completely different person in my thinking of what is normal.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Regina. What is “ normal thinking” when grieving? I’ve worked with thousands of widows and there is no normal. There is just you holding on for dear life as you move forward. You have an inner strength that you draw on for making decisions and sometimes it is needed to just get out of bed.

      If you want to chat with other widows you can go to Facebook “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private Group for Widows” and request to join. Please make sure you answer all the membership security questions. The group is free and no selling or politics is allowed.

      Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

    • Kim Rasner
      | Reply

      My husband died unexpectedly 14 months ago leaving me a widow at 46 years old. Somehow I survived the first year. However recently my sadness is overwhelming and I am crying more days than not. I don’t quite understand why. My employer of 19 years decided to reassign me to an entry level admin support position upon my FMLA return. This resulted in a secondary loss that I still grieve. I’m faced with starting over so this resurgence of sadness is not ideal. I find myself so lonely in this grief. I talk about my husband but not this sadness. People just want me to be fine. I don’t want my life to center around his death. Being to involve in a grief support group feels too consuming. Journaling and gratitude are great tools but again I try to avoid my thoughts. I wonder what the perfect balance is. Do you think crying it out is enough? Either way time passes. I don’t want to spend my days sad and near tears. The hurt is too much and I miss him so much. Crying as if it hasn’t been 14 months. I don’t understand. It is so hard to plan for a future when I can’t even see one. I’m at a dangerous crossroad in life right now.

      • Mary Francis
        | Reply

        I’m so sorry for your loss and I agree that your job situation isn’t helping you. You can’t change your husbands death, but with 19 years experience you could start looking around for another job where you can start fresh. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are just over one year on your grief journey. Believe me, you are not “fine” you are sad, you are grieving and Yes crying is okay, but there is no crying it out. Grief has to have its time, but when your broken heart is ready the healing will begin. Take care and be safe, Mary Francis.

  2. Janice Becker
    | Reply

    It’s been almost 6 months since Ray passed and I seem to be stuck in concrete I just finished his obituary and now I haven’t mailed them!! Janice

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Janice. When my Donnie died suddenly I felt like I was in quick sand and everything was slow motion and unbalanced. It helps to make out a “To Do” list and check off each item as it gets done. Sorry for your loss. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *