A Widow’s Tough Week

Being a widow is hard, but do you have those especially tough weeks where for some reason everything goes bad?

Maybe your job has been overwhelming, with lots of work and no one to help out.  Or maybe your adult children are having problems of their own and they come to you for help.  It could be that your appliance has broken down, furnace needs maintenance, car won’t start – you try to fix them but have only made it worse.

So, you have had a tough week, and the worst part is that you don’t have your loved one here to deal with your ranting and raving, to get you a glass of wine, make you laugh or see how it has become a bigger problem than it is.

Tough weeks are hard when you are alone.  Prepare ahead by creating a list of dependable service stations, plumbers, electricians and other service people (including after hour phone numbers). Then when you need help you know exactly who to call.

After a tough week it helps to write it all out in your journal.  Write what you learned and who was the most helpful to you.  Lastly, treat yourself to that glass of wine, soak in the tub or quiet walk.

Tell me, what do you do when you have a tough week?

5 Responses

  1. Susie
    | Reply

    Mary -Excellent advice. I’ve tried your advice in baby as I am approaching 14 months on Nov 4. and asking for help is my next challenge but I also purchased a home warranty for 1 dollar 12 a day

  2. Sherry Ann Snyder
    | Reply

    I have tough days/weeks/minutes and seconds quite often. I do keep a journal, but sometimes I just give myself a good cry and sometimes I just honestly have to scream it out a bit. Yes, I feel like a crazy woman, but I am by myself and only my fur babies see this from me. Some of them will come and give me some smoochies to help make “mommy” feel better. I do talk to my Mike’s urn and kiss him each morning, night and before I leave to go wherever I am heading. I am just about at 22 months and thank God often times for blessing me with my Mike for the 19 years that I was with him.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Sherry. I’m sorry for your loss. I appreciate that you are thankful for the time you did have. It’s not always easy to see our blessings when we are grieving. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

  3. Linda
    | Reply

    everything is tough to me since I lost my husband 5 months ago. I am learning banking and bill paying. I have friends who help with yardwork and they come around but at nights, I miss my husband to share dinner and tv and have conversations. And since I sold his motorcycle and boat, it seems like my whole life of fun is over. I know grief is a process but at this early stage I am struggling

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Linda. I’m sorry for your loss and you are right that when our husbands die it does seem like a “life of fun is over”. But I’m 13 years into this journey and looking back I can see that my “fun” in life started when I decided that I was ready to let my broken heart heal. You see “fun” is not what others give us, it is what we give ourselves.

      It’s okay to be struggling, to cry and to grieve. There are no stages in grieving and all these emotions will come and go over the years, but fun will always be there when you are ready to receive it. Take care and be safe, Mary Francis

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