Widows need their friends now more than ever. Does your best friend know all your secrets? Can you not talk for months, and then talk as if not even one day has passed? Is she the one that picks you up after your biggest trial, convinces you to try something new and laughs with you till the sun comes up?
She is the best – until things get complicated! Maybe she is still married, but you are not part of the “couple” group anymore. A little envy may creep into your friendship as your life continues to change, but hers does not.
Don’t let a rift grow between you, because after all, she is an important part of your life. Talk it out because your relationship can be reworked, even deepened if you both care enough.
Sadly, not all friendships survive widowhood, because every relationship is as different as the people involved. There is no rule book on grieving and how it affects our lives and those around us. It requires caring enough to work on it, to have the desire to keep it going.
Widows may find that they see less of their old friends. That even though they live only a few miles apart, it’s as though she is now in a different world from you, and in a way she is.
In friendships between women, things always have a chance to mend. Not everyone handles a crisis well, and we need to forgive them for not understand. After all, this grief journey is hard enough for us to understand let alone those who care about us.
A true soul connection never ends, though the shape of it may certainly change. We just need to open our hearts to find the connection that still exists.
There isn’t any etiquette or set of guidelines to follow, so we have to work on friendships by trial and error. One thing I know as a widow, is that friendships are worth keeping. They are central to the healing of our broken hearts, so if you lose some old friends because they can’t adjust to your new life, then make a conscious effort to get out and nurture some new friendships.