A Widow’s Christmas Memories

The closer I get to Christmas Day, I find myself thinking about all the people I’ve lost over the years.

In their memory, I decorate with the ornaments and beautiful gifts from my past.  I only wish they were here to enjoy the day with me, but to feel better I would have to not think about them, simply because it was too painful.  But I can’t just erase them from my memories.

I’ve come to realize that I want them to be part of my Christmas Day, even if it’s only in my memories.

I’m grateful for my memories of good times from my past, things they said, things they did and gifts they gave me that I still cherish.

Most importantly, even with the pain I’ve endured, no one can take my Christmas memories from me.

It is also important to honor everyone else’s memories.  Each member of the family will grieve in different ways, so talk about your loss, but also about your memories.

By keeping the lines of communication open you can talk about starting some new traditions, and in doing so you will create new memories for the years to come.

2 Responses

  1. Amazing Grace
    | Reply

    How long in society is one considered a widow? My husband perished in September, 2012. He just had his 50th birthday and I was turning 48 that November. My now 22 year old son was twelve. He still lives with me; he is special needs young adult now…
    Everytime I think I’m ok, and think I’m ready to move on; there’s always a reminder. Just this evening I was taking a nap on the couch and my husband was in my dream. And as I woke up from my dream my son came out of the room with four old pictures of me and his dad. He told me he was cleaning out his closet and looking at pictures. The same time I was dreaming of his dad…
    And so now I find myself beginning to grieve again.
    I haven’t remarried nor am I dating anyone…
    Not that I’m trying to find someone to fill my husband’s shoes, but I’m sorry; they’re just aren’t any good candidates! I’m 55 years young, lonely & still single. 😔

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Amazing Grace. I’m not sure how “society” considers it, but I was 50 when Donnie died and I consider myself a widow until I remarry or die. But some young widows start referring to themselves as single after a while, so I really think it is more your personal choice then what “society” dictates. Take care and be safe. Mary Francis

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