There Are No Shortcuts for Widows

Most widows search, adjust and search some more for the right balance … until one day, it finally appears out of the fog of their grief.  Sadly there are no shortcuts for widows that are grieving.

In other words, there are no shortcuts for your journey as a single woman.  There is just a journey that has to be travelled all the way to the end.

Can you hurry up the process?  Yes, I think you can to a certain extent but you need to embrace a practice that requires discipline, candor and a bit of courage.

Simply put:  You need to relentlessly ask yourself the following five questions.  These questions will guide you on your journey.  Eventually, they will steer you into a life of peace and even joy.

So here they are:

  1. Does my life challenge me to grow or do I fear change?
  2. Am I settling for less in life for the sake of the people in my life?
  3. Am I doing something I love that feeds my passion for life?
  4. What are my three top goals for the next year?
  5. Do I spend time with people who share my values or do I put on a mask to fit into their lives?

These five questions will help you to understand who you are and also what you are meant to be.  The questions are profound, huge in their impact and have no limits.  It doesn’t matter what your age or financial situation.

Our stories of grief are often told with acceptance, anger, loneliness and confusion.  How could they have loved us and ended up leaving?  How am I to figure this out by myself?

Widows often look for their days to be just “good enough”, always waiting for the day that they will be happy again.  They don’t ask the above questions because of fear of change, no energy and perhaps because they are not yet finished their grieving, and so are not yet ready for their healing.

Your grief journey won’t be smooth, instead it will be emotional and lonely, but it can also move you forward to a life that you can find meaning in.

You have control, not of all your circumstances, but your reactions to those events.  Don’t spend your energy focusing on the past, which is now totally out of your control.  Instead put your energy into your current day because that is how you will get unstuck.

Every event in your past has helped make you into the person you are today – you choose what kind of person that is.  The key is to learn as you go along and don’t try to take shortcuts that fail you in the end.  With time and courage, the answers you give to these five questions will lead you to the exact place that you are meant to be.

Leave a Reply