If your still grieving and aren’t emotionally ready to be in an intimate relationship, how are you going to determine if you’re with the right guy? If you have been dating for a few months then this post is for you.
They may be perfect BUT the relationship won’t feel right if you are spiritually or emotionally empty. You have to like yourself and know that you have a lot to offer a mate.
Is your self-esteem high enough to love another person or do you feel so empty inside that you have nothing to offer except your neediness? When grieving you’re in process of change – unstable, growing and healing. You are different today from what you were yesterday and will be different again tomorrow. This period of change doesn’t make for a good foundation, so don’t move to quickly from dating into a long-term commitment.
Dating 3 Months or More – You’re probably thinking this one may be “the one”. Before you get seriously involved, think about these questions:
- Is there a significant age difference?
- Do you have different religious beliefs?
- Are you a good social match?
- Are there toxic children or family?
- Is he committed, mature and responsible?
- Does he have high self-esteem and is positive?
- Is he affectionate and faithful?
- Does he support your goals?
- Do you make love, not just have sex?
- Is he sensitive to how you feel?
- Does he take care of himself?
- Is he interested in the world around him?
- Do you have easy discussions about his feelings?
- Does your financial style match?
- Can you discuss and solve problems together?
- Does he accept your religion and beliefs?
- Do you have mutual interests or hobbies?
Stella Ngcobo
Thank you Mary Francis for all these tools to help us navigate widowhood. I have introduced ba few of my fellow widow acquaintances to your website. They are at different levels but I have no doubt they are coping with your help. Be blessed!
Patricia
My husband died of covid 6 months ago and I am doing as well as can be expected. We are having a celebration service in a week so I have been crying more. A man from my church who is about 80 to ask me if I would like to go on a drive sometime, that his motives were pure. He is a friend from my church and his health is not very good but he’s highly respected in my community. Can a widow do something with a man friend before a year? I live in a small town and I think I could be open to gossip. This is not a romance.
Mary Francis
That’s a good question Patricia and the answer is whatever you want it to be.
Yes, you can have a man friend and yes you will be open to gossip.
The answer is in whether you care more about the gossip than having a friend to go on a drive with sometimes. Only you can answer that?
Take care and remember this is your life and you can give control of it away to gossips or keep the control.
Mary Francis