Widows often look at change as an obstacle, but is change good or bad? It is one of those things we widows seem conditioned to repel.
Change is often met with skepticism, anger and a lack of enthusiasm. It’s not wanted, but change refuses to go away after the death of our loved ones.
The problem is not change itself, but the perception that a change will harm you. The big change (the loss of our loved one) was out of our control, but the changes moving forward may be ones that we can manage or at the very least we do have control over how we react to these new changes.
What we widows fail to realize is that we have been changing ever since we were born and whether we want to or not, we will continue to change till the day we die. Change is something that has been with you all your life and it is time that you become comfortable with it.
The reality of widowhood is that change is now even more a part of our lives and we should not be afraid of it. Master the art of change and realize your goals.
- Accept the changes that are happening.
- Break down the fears that surround change.
- Identify the goals that change will create.
- Train yourself to implement the intended changes.
- Make the changes part of your daily routines.
The language we use can make a major difference in how we create our future. Consciously make a decision to quit saying ‘What you don’t want’ and start saying ‘what you do want’. I know it takes some faith to believe in the best, hope for the best and take steps towards the best, but isn’t that better than staying where you are without any hope.
I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. Sometimes it can be that simple – just think before you speak and you can learn to control change without fearing it.
Please don’t stumble through your grief and not heal simply because you didn’t read or listen to positive messages. You choose to let negative self-talk take over or not, and believe me it is a choice.
It may take some time and focus but your self-talk can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and future. I believe that all the books, audios and movies that we will ever need to make us healthy, mentally and physically, have already been written for us. They offer us the wisdom and experience to help us on our grief journey – we just need to be willing to use them.