Everyone has a different marriage than us, and everyone will apply these 8 Tips for Modern Day Grieving in their own way. There is no right way or path for all grievers to take.
1. Wear or keep close a special piece of their clothing. You can have their old T-Shirts made into a special quilt or teddy bears.
2. Say a special prayer to your loved ones every morning, and/or take time to write in a journal every day.
3. Once a week go to a special place that you both went to and soak up memories.
4. Accept that mourning and death are too important to be sidelined by life. Don’t minimize your mourning or try to follow timelines others set for you.
5. Grieving isn’t easy but we need to fully grieve for a long period of time and if we accept that than we will have less complicated and unresolved grief to deal with at a later date.
6. Friends and family may feel inhibited and clumsy in discussing death. During this fragile time we may feel abandoned by those closest to us. My tip is for you to speak out about what support you need from them. Look for confidantes and good listeners so that you can talk freely.
7. This is your grief journey. Don’t let others tell you what to do, or feel, and for how long. Each widow has to be able to choose their own path.
8. Seek out professional help, because in this modern age of grieving no one has to grieve without support. Go online and do a Google search for “widow support” and read/do everything you can relate to.
Take control of not only your grieving but also of your healing. No one cares about your life and future as much as you do, or at least no one should – this is your journey.
Stella Ngcobo
Dear Mary,
I have found the most amazing advice in your post. Some of the things you have mentioned in today’s post have become part of my journey and have done wonders for my healing process. Keeping a journal has become my way of communicating with my late husband Cosmas and a great comfort. Wearing his jackets and cardigans provides a special feel of closeness.
I can’t thank you enough for never tiring to walk us through this journey, you really are a Sister in Widowhood.
❤️ Stella (Durban, South Africa)
Linda
Dear Mary,
I say a prayer every morning to my husband, and ask for strength to get me through the day. I find myself constantly talking to him in every day occurrences. You are absolutely correct when you posted about grieving is my journey, and I truly appreciate the tips. It’s still hard, and I am just beginning to start accomplishing tasks such as changing bills, etc. into my name. It’s hard to do because I feel like I am erasing him from my life. I feel that over time, I will get stronger, though at this time, it’s just difficult to see that far into the future.
Shirley Henderson Colee
These are wonderful guidelines and suggestions for the grieving process. Thank you!
Sally Williams sisterhood of widows
Yes I feel I am erasing him from my life when I take his name from various accounts.
I am heartbroken. He was so special to me .