Anxiety and Widowhood

If you are a widow then you understand that anxiety and widowhood go hand in hand while grieving.

Keep a journal, and list your worries and things you can do to help.  A proactive approach can reduce your anxiety. Learn to be realistic, get the real facts and focus on real issues and not personal insecurities.  One way to lessen your anxiety is to eliminate things on your to-do list.  Deal with what you can do that day – don’t procrastinate.  Imagine that it will get done easily and see yourself crossing it off your to-do list.

Schedule “worry time” to 20 minutes a day (but not just before bedtime).  If you start to worry, tell yourself it’s not time and focus on something else. Become conscious of your negativity and when you notice it, immediately say “what can I do about this” and if there is nothing then let it go. It may sound simple, but do something every day that you truly enjoy.  Increasing activities of enjoyment will change your focus from what you don’t want to what you do want.

It’s important to surround yourself with people that have positive lives and give you feelings of well-being when you spend time with them.  Nothing can bring anxiety into your life faster than difficult family and friends. When dealing with them, remember that it’s all about them and don’t take on their problems and drama.  You can’t control toxic people, but you can control how much time you spend with them. Be willing to walk away so that you don’t say something that you will regret.

Laughter is a powerful tool for defusing our anxiety.  When overwhelmed seek out some comedy or music videos that bring you joy and lessens your mood.  To lessen anxiety it also helps to practice deep breathing.  Relax, inhale deeply from your stomach, exhale as much air as possible then repeat.  Count while doing inhale by count of 6 and exhale by count of 8.

It helps if you do meditating phrases that connect your outlook with the desire to be happy.  Example: “May I find something of joy to be grateful for today”.  A lot of things are out of our control and irritate us.  The trick is not to take things personally.  Life happens and the world is not out to get you because the car and dishwasher broke down on the same day.

Global issues like politics, viruses, unrest and investments can be among our biggest stressors.  The reality is that this is totally beyond your control, and if you can do something like volunteer, donate or save an emergency fund than do it, otherwise don’t focus on global issues and watch less news.

Sleep is so important to our calmness that without sleep our anxiety is sure to increase.  Adequate sleep (7 to 8 hours) supports health, sharpens your brain and lifts your spirit.

Look after your physical health because without it anxiety has a real hold on you. Take a multivitamin, get daily exercise, sleep, more fruits and vegetables, lots of water, positive people and activities.

You have to make yourself a priority, because if not your anxiety will make it hard for you to heal your broken heart.