Widow Confusion/Fog

Some of us have “widow confusion/fog” where we seem to be constantly lost.  We go one way, than another – we try one thing and then shift to something else.

Our problem is simple:  We are grieving and we just don’t know what we want to do with ourselves.  If that sounds familiar, you need to sit down and put your goals on paper.  You need to start figuring this out once and for all, what you want and the actions you need to take to get there.  Once you write out what you want and see it on paper, it will be easier to plan for it to become a reality.

List 3 things that you will NEVER change your belief in.  True values are expressed in your actions and how you spend your time.  Knowing what gives you the best value for your time, indicates what you should be doing next.

For me, confusion starts when I get away from my core values: God – Respecting Others – My Health.

I realize that my actions are not always matching my values.  I’ve been getting a little slack, but I can and will do better.  When we start to justify our actions or lack of actions, we are trying to convince ourselves that its ok to settle for less… that it’s ok to play it safe… that it’s ok to die in spirit.  But widows that have a clear idea of what they want, don’t justify why they don’t at least try and we shouldn’t either.

Let’s tuck our excuses in our back pocket and just do it.  Yes, we have our moments of grief, doubt and despair.  We have our moments of disappointment and depression, but it’s part of our journey, not a life sentence.

Widow “confusion/fog” is real, but we can get our balance back.  Let’s give it some time, as grieving is important and it has to have its time.  But when you are ready, healing is also part of your journey.

I’ve thought a lot about this since I’ve become a widow.  Finding your way out of “widow confusion/fog” is hard after the death of our loved ones.  Everything is grey and dull, and it’s hard to even laugh.

I think that I became more joyful and clear when I found what I was passionate about – helping other widows.  Find something you care about, grandchildren help, and you will find your path will be clearer and easier to travel.

#thesisterhoodofwidows

4 Responses

  1. pattyann1820
    | Reply

    I’m beginning to see what I’m up against and I’m so grateful for your support.

  2. Helen
    | Reply

    I needed that guidance. Thankyou for sharing.

  3. jamillia
    | Reply

    I need a lot of support I feel like I am in a bad dream and cant wake up.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Jamillia. For support and encouragement from other widows you can request to join “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private Group for Widows” on Facebook. Answer all the security questions to get the request looked at.

      Sorry for your loss.
      Mary Francis

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