Time for Yourself

Is it hard to find time for yourself?  For some widows they have way too much time for themselves, but for others the holidays mean doing the work of two, but all on your own.

For those widows this article is about allowing us to slow down and accepting less.  Maybe the Christmas lights don’t need to be installed along the roof lines this year.

We widows often get caught up with the “should” of life – like we “should” be able to do what two used to do, we “should” be on time and we “should” continue without upsetting anyone else’s schedule.  Ask yourself what YOU want and where is the best place to spend your time.  Surprise – it may be a day at home without having to be sociable.

Holidays are stressful at the best of times, but when grieving it’s an emotional mind field.  Here are a few tips to help you get that all important time for yourself.

  • Solving puzzles like crossword and sudoku is well known to ease anxiety.  Every time we widows successfully complete a puzzle we experience a sense of satisfaction.  Solving problems feels like a reward, which helps ward off negative and anxious feelings.


  • Taking time for yourself, doesn’t mean staying home to catch up on the laundry.  This is time to quiet your inner spirit and needs to be treated as special as it is.


  • Lift your spirit by listening and singing along to your favorite nostalgic music.


  • Enjoy a Hallmark or Netflix show.  Focus on something funny and take it easy on the holiday romance movies.


  • Listen to Podcasts that inspire, encourage and talk about purpose, fear and courage.  A good podcast is “The Paula Faris Faith & Calling Podcast”.  It will give you an instant dose of encouragement from Paula, a Senior National Correspondent at ABC News.

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