Maximize Your Decisions

To maximize your decisions widows have to ask themselves, “what now?”  Life has asked each widow the same question, but we have chosen to answer totally different from each other, and that’s okay.

Every decision is a matter of choosing what is right for you.  Each choice has rewards and liabilities.  You have to live with your decisions.  I can’t make the decisions for you – no one can.  The most important thing I can do is to make sure you are aware that the decision is yours to make.

Yes, there are things that are beyond your control (no one knows this better then you), but I believe in a Higher Power that has given us the gift to determine how we use what we have.  The worst possible thing you can do is to fail to make a decision at all, and never move forward.

There is only so much time you can spend in deliberation.  Yes, you need to grieve and yes, you have to make sure the decision is your own and not someone else’s.

Yes, you have to weigh the pros and cons and determine if the decision is right for you.  But eventually you need to maximize your decision to your benefit and act on it.

Don’t arrive at the end of your life to realize you could have done more, laughed harder, played more and lived to the maxim, if only you had made a conscious decision about what you wanted to do.

Living life as a widow is hard, darn hard, but I urge you to be open to the changes that will come your way.  There’s just a chance that beyond all the advice and well-meaning comments, there’s some great support waiting to help you.  So, be open to it.

Only you can decide if you’re fine, no one else.  As early as you can, start developing the skills to see just how beautiful a person you are.

It’s dangerous to play it safe!  It’s much more sensible to start taking a big interest in yourself, by learning about what works for you.  Having confidence is crucial to your grief healing.

Now, I want you to realize something about family and friends.  They’re scared, they don’t understand the changes you are going through.  Because of that, do not expect much help from them.  Some might even go so far as to discourage you.  I’m not telling you to ignore them because we need their support.  Just know that as life opens up to you, it may also close some doors from the past.

I need you to do something for me.  Keep an open mind and maximize your decisions so you can move forward.  At one time people thought the world was flat and if you went too far you would fall off.  Be brave and sail your own ship.  When you do, I’m certain that you’ll feel powerful and in control.

I can’t tell you what your ultimate goal in life is.  It’s personal to you, but I definitely know that when you get in control, your mind becomes clearer in whatever decisions you make.

3 Responses

  1. faithandhope021
    | Reply

    I needed to hear this. Thank you.

  2. Sandy
    | Reply

    This was awesome and confirmed that what I am doing is right for me.

  3. Karen A.
    | Reply

    Thank you. I am struggling with the moving forward part, it has been 6 months. He was too young to leave at 49 and I am not sure who to be without him. No one my age understands, no one older than me understands. I am grateful to have found this site. Thank you.

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