Are You Feeling Guilty?

So the big question is – Are You Feeling Guilty?  Wow, we women feel guilty over just about everything!  Why do we do it to ourselves?  It’s even more common when we become widows as we second guess our decisions – what didn’t we do that we should have, what did we do that wasn’t right?

Widows will, after much soul-searching, feel guilty about …. and …. It’s to our credit that we care so much about our loved ones, but it shouldn’t be at the cost of our own mental health.

Instead of wasting our energy on guilt, let’s work towards actively supporting our choices, each and every one worthy of respect.

Some ways to move away from guilt is to meditate by repeating a positive word or phrase, disregarding any negative thoughts that inevitably come to mind.

Listen to some uplifting music that can reduce anxiety and negative feelings.  Why not be simply silly and dance around your living room?

As always doing some physical activity, if even a walk around the neighbourhood, will lessen your stress and make you feel happier.

Some positive online sites to visit:

  • gratefulness.org
  • beliefnet.com
  • meditationcenter.com

Resilience is the ability to bounce back and is critical to healing.  Sometimes life’s blows are so hard it is difficult to imagine how you can rebound but it’s possible when you take control.

Healing will start when we choose to use the power of love and gratitude AND make no mistake, it is a choice.  You are a beautiful person and your life is worth living to the fullest, but you can’t do it without shedding that burden of guilt that you are carrying.

This is your month for renewal and time for a fresh start, so let your guilt go and focus on being grateful and happy.

4 Responses

  1. Denise Leach
    | Reply

    So glad I joined, I find these messages and ideas so helpful. So good to know I’m normal and its ok to still grieve him after 9 yrs this May. Together for 30 yrs and no children. He died from hospital neglect so unexpectedand . Totally changed my life over night. Thank god for dogs and 3 girlfriends to help me to smile a bit. No one should be totally alone in thiscscary world today.

  2. Mary Lee Kachur
    | Reply

    I lost my husband Mar. 2 very unexpectedly. We had been out with friends for dinner & when we came home got ready for bed & he laid down & simply closed his eyes & left. It has been such a shock! He had not been ill. We have been married 53 yrs. I am very sorry for your loss as well. I am struggling with the guilt of missing something & also for all the times I was irritated even though I know that is a part of living with someone. I wish I could have those moments back as they look so irrelevant now.

  3. Debra Burklow
    | Reply

    Thank you for the messages you share. They are a blessing to us all. Yes, I do find activity to help such as walks around the neighborhood or gardening. It calms my guilt, anxiety and emotional griefing.

  4. Deborah Usry
    | Reply

    My guilt is different but it’s still guilt. After 10 months I am starting to feel whole – on occasion. I continue to grieve and always will, but I am starting to feel sad and guilty that my life is not over. I’m moving on in small ways without this wonderful man to whom i was married for 28 years. I have been working hard to build a new life, and I feel guilty.

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