One Must Be Grateful

Widows are grieving, they are often focusing on their past, on what has gone wrong and what they don’t have.  To tell a widow, “one must be grateful” seems unkind in the face of their pain.

Sadly, some widows do not know how to be grateful; they were not grateful in their youth, in their married life and certainty not in their life as a widow.

What we need to understand is that if we are grateful for what we have, than others will be willing to provide assistance.  It also empowers us to return every favor that has been bestowed upon us.

I believe that gratitude is the best medicine for hatred and jealousy.  It will change our disposition and bring us some peace and harmony.  It is easy for us to establish a grateful image when things are favorable and much harder when faced with grief and the difficulties of our new life.

I acknowledge that being grateful isn’t easy, but it’s when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you.  Gratitude can give you a perspective of positive energy, even if you are not yet there.

I often talk about keeping a journal so you can look back in five years and see how far you have come.  I suggest that you make part of your journal into a “gratitude journal” by writing down three things you are grateful for every day.  Go through your day looking for things to be grateful for, and there is always something to be grateful for.

I believe that by appreciating whatever shows up in your life, you will radiate and generate more goodness for yourself.  Make time for a little gratitude every day and you will be amazed by the healing results.

8 Responses

  1. Luanne Reilly
    | Reply

    I’m grateful for the information sisterhood of widows provides to me. Being grateful helps to see the light and get stronger each day.

  2. C A M
    | Reply

    Wonderful truth!

  3. Patti jean
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    I’m in my 20th month of widowhood. I’m finding the second year much harder. I feel I have moved on physically. Back to exercise, socializing, etc…. But I am having a very difficult time being grateful. I have always been a grateful person, very appreciative, very faithful. I know I have so much to be grateful for.. my family, friends, my house, my health (I’m 71). My son is getting married, my kids are taking me to Italy .. I just don’t look forward to anything. I’m trying.. & I’m praying about it.
    Patti jean

  4. Cindy
    | Reply

    I have been disenchanted by the negative, pessimistic remarks from other widows on our Facebook page. They say everyone grieves differently. I get that. Looking at things with a positive attitude takes practice and it is easy to go spiraling downward into the negative abyss because we are going through difficult times. However, the option to choose a path of joy and fulfillment is always there. When you project your positivity out into the universe, you attract it. Conversely, when you project negativity, you will get that coming your way. If you find yourself stuck in a negative rut, take a moment to name three things that you are grateful for, like Mary Francis says. It really works! You’ve made a choice to attract joy and positivity. It is a simple uplifting exercise that we should do everyday!

  5. Cynthia meyer
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    Thank you for this it’s so true and I’m trying to remind myself how grateful I am everyday to help keep me on a positive path.

  6. Deena Helfand
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    I try to do this every day, and it really helps me and takes my mind to a positive rather than negative place. Thanks, I love you posts.

  7. Pattsie
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    I am only 3 months into my grief journey. Michael and I were married when I was 18 and we were married 53 years. I was so very grateful all those years to have him. He died suddenly after heart surgery and I am finding it very hard to understand and accept. I am grateful for the years we had BUT I wanted us to live into our elderly years. It is so lonely and scary without him. I feel like an empty shell without him. I am trying.

  8. Jillian Brinkley
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    Bless your heart, Pattsie. I lived with my mother for the last 13 years of her life, and I am ever so grateful for those years. When she died, counselors told me that my grief would be even more unique because it was like losing my mother, my “spouse” and my best friend all at one time. They were so right! Like you, I, too, found it incredibly difficult to be grateful for anything after I lost her. It took a lot of constant coaxing from my wonderful support system, but, after almost 20 years, I am here to tell you that it does work! The most impactful thing someone said to me at that time was that if mother had been the one left behind, would I have wanted her to give up (as I was doing)? Boy, was THAT an easy one to answer! Please don’t give up, Pattsie!

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