Tough decisions for widows involve a mixture of logic (head) and emotion (heart) and that makes it hard for widows that are already feeling lost.
Most widows are not purely rational because decision making is intrinsically linked to our emotions. Sadly, our emotions can lead us astray while grieving. We need to learn to go more with our intuition.
To increase the odds of reaching a decision we won’t regret, we need to narrow down our choices and accept that in the end, “good enough is often good enough”.
Widows tend to make poorer decisions when they are under a lot of stress. When facing a complex decision, gather the information you need, do all the pros and cons and then step back from it. The idea is to give your unconscious mind some time to process all the information you have given it.
It helps to ask yourself how you feel after each decision you make. Go by your gut and if it doesn’t feel right, take another look at it. The more specific you are about what is upsetting you and why, the clearer you can make your decisions.
Take the time to listen to your reasons for procrastinating. Are there valid reasons to wait before you make that tough decision? Our justifications may have just enough truth in them to trick us. It may help if we start with a few low-risk decisions and gradually move into the tough decisions.
“If you are going to do anything you must expect criticism. But it’s better to be a doer than a critic. The doer moves; the critic stands still, and is passed by.” Bruce Barton, 1932
Some tips to help you with your tough decisions:
- When in doubt, just take the next small step.
- Over prepare, then go with the flow.
- Take several deep breaths, it calms the mind.
- Believe in yourself.
- Try something new that brings you out of your comfort zone. Making that decision will prove to yourself that you can do more than you imagined you could.
One of the most common blocks, to us widows making tough decisions, is the negative stories we tell ourselves. Give yourself a boost by writing down five positive qualities about yourself. That’s the beginning of the new, more confident you, and is just what you need to make the tough decisions.