Here you are, grief has led you steadily down the road and straight into what many widows call “the plague of depression.”
This is what we consider the most difficult part of grieving. It’s a time when we are likely to eat like a body builder or not eat at all. It’s a time when we are either sleeping for hours on end or not sleeping at all. It’s a place of hopelessness and to be completely honest, it’s a very dark and frightening place to be.
Those that have been widowed for a while have all experienced what you’re going through, this seemingly bottomless pit, and we have made it through to the other side. Do not despair. This, too, is a normal part of the grieving process and I’ll tell you right up front that the worst thing you can do is to isolate yourself from others.
You’re stronger than you think. I rode the emotional roller coaster of shock, anger and all the pain of grieving and it made me sick. It took me a while to understand that I was stronger than my grief.
One reason depression comes on so strong is that grief changes every aspect of life. It’s much more than the fact that you’re on your own. Your living arrangement has changed, your financial situation has changed and your friendships have changed. You lose some friends who are too uncomfortable with grief or were more “his” friends than yours. You may find yourself seeing less of the couples you’ve always done things with.
For my grief, it wasn’t just a mountain to climb. It was much more than that. I would survive, would get past this horrible hell I was living in. I would live again, laugh again. The pain was there (still is, sometimes). The heartache still felt unbearable, but I had started to heal.
Be encouraged and know that the depression, deep sadness and being lost does not last forever. You go through it. You don’t stay in it. You will get out, but this is your journey to travel, so travel it you must, just don’t get struck in the darkness. Keep going till you see the light.
Mary Francis, Blog – The Sisterhood of Widows