Our Inner Voice

The most important voice we need to listen to is “Our Inner Voice”.  Each time a widow ignores her inner voice she shrinks inside of herself.  The more she denies her voice, the more she fears rejection.  Instead of relying on what we know in our bones, we seek the approval of others and try to live up to their expectations.

Often widows bend over backwards to be “good” people, to make the “right” decisions and to do what they believe they are supposed to do.  But in trying to please others a widow’s inner voice may become faint and distant.

Forgive yourself for the times when you were afraid and insecure – that is in the past and cannot be changed.  Now, start listening to what your gut is trying to tell you.  Even though we expect all our information to come from our heads, the gut instinct has its own inner voice.

Even when you make mistakes, they will be your mistakes.  Owning them and standing tall (despite your errors) will help strengthen your trust in your “inner voice”.

When our loved ones die, our meaning and purpose goes with them.  It’s hard to find it again.  We need to listen to our inner voice/wisdom/God.  “What should I want?”   “What should I be?”  You need to stop and really take this seriously.  If you don’t care enough about what you want, who will?

When something happens and you have to stop and think, remember your intention to trust yourself.  Stop, take a breath and give yourself time to assess how you feel.  Practicing stillness is a valuable art in many spiritual traditions; prayer and meditation are the most commonly used.

We also need to talk to one another, to help and love one another.  We need to connect with others that share our values.  The important thing is that giving and receiving helps us to grieve and heal, and that opens up our life so that we can hear our inner voice.

The more you trust yourself, the stronger and more confident you will become.

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows

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