Forever Changed

When our loved one died our lives and the people in them were forever changed. When we are grieving, our friendships may experience some difficulties, but there is an art to knowing when a friendship can be fixed and when it’s beyond repair.

Admit it, there are some people you are resisting spending time with. It is no use pretending that you still enjoy being with them or that they still want to be with you. You could analyze this forever – their fault, your fault, or someone else’s fault, it doesn’t matter.

For good friends, let them know that they are important to you and cultivate the friendship by letting them know you are available to them.

For other friends, by trying to avoid hurting them, you may hurt them even more. When we neglect or put off dealing with change, we just generate rumors and even more difficulty. This is selfish and cruel for both of you.

This will hang over you, until you deal with this friend. I know you want to avoid conflict but it will only frustrate you more, because you are now on a different path than they are.

Friends come and go throughout our lives and after we become widows we are much more aware of who our true friends are. When you must go another path, do so quickly and cleanly. It not only hurts you, but also them to evade or avoid the truth that the friendship has run its course.

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows

#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport

4 Responses

  1. Marlene
    | Reply

    This came at exactly the right time. For me it’s friends that I thought were friends to both my husband and I, that have clearly shown they were his friend only. And also my husbands extended family. His aunt and cousin who only saw him 2-3 times a year despite living close, have sent heartless texts. Basically saying their grief is greater than mine, wife of 29 years…. It’s not a competition – and if it is, I withdraw.

  2. Mary Macerelli
    | Reply

    Marlene,Sadly grief brings out the worst in some and the truth of the relationship ( for better or worse) in others, sometimes both in the same person…I’m sure you don’t need negativity in your life as you grieve your loss. Let these people go and be thankful they have shown who they are…and move ahead toward the new life, friends that await you! Wishing you all the best!

  3. Annetta Gay Roberts
    | Reply

    ThankYou! I need to do better at being a friend.

  4. Candice Jean Ellington
    | Reply

    This is SO true (especially the first 2 paragraphs) & no one wants to talk about it. I’m 70, there are many, many people no longer in my life; we just outgrew each other or took different paths. I think that dealing with the loss of my husband, my soulmate, it’s scary to cut any other ties…even tho I know thay are already severed.

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