The Loneliness Factor

The Loneliness Factor

When our spouses were alive, we were more content to sit around on a Saturday night to watch TV and eat leftovers.  But now they are gone and loneliness is our new companion. So our desire to get out increases and we socialize more, eat out more, see more movies and go on more trips. And with all that our expenses tend to increase, not decrease as we fight the loneliness factor.

Statistics indicate that women outlive their husbands and her future often depends on his source of income and how well they planned for the future.

The outcome of their planning will have a direct affect on the surviving woman’s quality of life and her options in fighting the loneliness factor once she is on her own.

Loneliness is a huge issue when you go from being a couple to being on your own. I know that money isn’t everything but that’s easy to say if you have money and not so easy if you’re too broke to go out to the movies with your friends.

Take the time to really check out all the details of your finances and then plan for your night outs and trips based on what you can afford. Sometimes just getting out to the local coffee shop or some window shopping with friends is all that’s needed to beat the loneliness factor.

Everyone has their special way to beat the loneliness – my favorite is to go to the local second hand shop and have a good dig for that special something at a price that I can’t refuse:-)

What’s do you do to avoid the “loneliness” of a Saturday night?

 

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows

#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport

 

13 Responses

  1. Debbie Byrne
    | Reply

    I’m struggling with the loneliness as a widowed senior woman, I try to make plan but most friends are couples and invitations are few these days.

  2. Tracey Timmons
    | Reply

    That can be a struggle, but thankfully my week feels full with griefshare meetings, women’s Bible studies and church. Throw in a meal another night and my week is full so I’m happy to be at home to “recoup” the other nights. But even on those nights, if I’m having a bad day emotionally, I still can’t avoid the loneliness that comes from not having my husband around. It’s part of me now and I’m learning to live with it the best I can

  3. Annetta Gay Roberts
    | Reply

    Loneliness is so real. ThankYou for this.

  4. Denise M Tocha
    | Reply

    51 years old, lost my husband 4 years ago. His family became mine as my family almost is non existing, and it seems like I lost them when I lost HIM. “OUR” friends ditched out on me as well and never had actual “just my friends”. I am virtually alone except the dog he left behind that has very severe separation anxiety. I can’t leave him home alone unless I severely sedate him. So, I am virtually a prisoner of my dog with no friends and no life. I have a job which has become my social life as well and all of this just SUCKS beyond belief because I feel my life quickly fading away while I wait for things to get better.

  5. Donna Pipes
    | Reply

    I try to have a couple things planned during the week so don’t mind doing laundry,house chores and catching up on Saturday. A good movie and book in the evening is fine. Church on Sunday or seeing the family. Still gets lonely often calling someone to chat helps.My cat and I are good friends.

  6. Patti
    | Reply

    I’m in 2 & 1/2 years now & 72. Each year very different grieving process. I found the second year to be the hardest. (With a surgery thrown in which brought me right back down to the bottom again). But I am working my way back up.. slowly. I don’t break down crying anymore, I don’t get super sad thinking of my Nick, I can tell funny stories & actually feel good feelings when I think of him. HOWEVER.. lonliness is still a big part of my life. For me weekends are still the worst. We were very social, both retired & just always did fun things with friends. Those friends all still have a husband, so all but 2 never reach out anymore. I make sure I keep busy during the week, zumba, exercise, lunches with friends. I’m desperately looking for a church to join once again but I’ve tried different ones & can’t find one I feel good about. I am studying the Bible once again & my faith has always been strong all my life. Today is Sunday & it snowed & im still in my pjs watching tv & reading… I’m ok with it but I did the same thing yesterday! I’m very close with my kids & grandkids.. & they try to include me but they have lives & I don’t want to be a burden. I have 3 sisters close by also.. but I’m the one that has no life or purpose anymore. I keep praying & I keep trying. I’ve always journaled but now I just try to be grateful.. it’s not easy to be grateful when you’re grieving.
    ❤️ Patti

  7. june483
    | Reply

    I just started year 3 – great family – couple of friends, (all with husbands), and still carry that emptiness inside. I have dinners and nights out set up with random people a couple of times a month. – trying to get used to this new single life. I have found that most people who have been single for many years really don’t want to get out and do anything and I don’t want to get like that.

    I find if I am busy on Saturday afternoons, walking the lake or running errands or food shopping, – should be going to the gym! – it tires me out so on those days I don’t mind TV on a Sat night and doing nothing. – then I work every other Saturday so that helps me tire myself too.

  8. Sharon
    | Reply

    My husband of 40+ years has been gone just over a month. I miss him beyond words. He was the love of my life. The lonely hours each day are unbelievable.
    I take a daily walk which helps. I was my husbands caregiver so we were very close and spent a lot of time together just the two of us.
    After my husband died, his family left me to grieve alone with my sister. If it hadn’t been for her, I don’t know what I would have done! It has been very hard being abandoned by his family. They just left me alone to deal with my loss and everything else that needed to be done.
    Luckily I have my family and friends. And I’ve had lots of paperwork and phone calls and thank you cards to send so all of that has helped me get through each day. The ache is endless right now. I hope it gets better with time.

  9. Janette Wike
    | Reply

    Mines only been gone a week, and I’m devastated, numb and just don’t know how to move forward. Being married to someone for 26 years and then just waking up the next morning knowing he’s never gonna walk through the door is the hardest thing I ever had to do. Looking for any help and advice

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Janette. First let me say I’m sorry for your loss. It’s only been a week so it’s just the beginning of your journey. Let your grief have it’s time and when your broken heart is ready it will start on it’s own healing journey.

      Meanwhile talk to people about your grief and your memories, even if you are repeating yourself.

      Lots of great support out there on YouTube and in the web.

      If you want to share your journey with other widows I have a private Facebook group called “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private
      Group for Widows”. Currently it’s over 14,500 widows worldwide that support and encourage each other.

      Also, three free guides and my Blog are on my website https://www.sisterhoodofwidows.com

      You don’t have to do this on your own. Reach out for help and support.

      Take care, Mary Francis

  10. Julie W
    | Reply

    My husband passed on Feb 28th. He had battled cancer valiantly but when it recurred in December, although he did some treatment it was already ravishing his body.

    This is all so new. We would have been married 43 years this august. I have been with him for more than half my life and he was just 61. It still doesn’t feel real. All of the things that need to be done. My kids have been wonderful but they are devastated as well.

    I just don’t know who or what I am? Widowed. Single. All of our friends were really mutual couple friends . Where will I fit anywhere? The hole in my heart is so huge. I know it will take time, but I had no idea the grief would be so thick.

  11. Marjorie Travis
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    My husband passed away on 8/1/21. We were married 61 years. Loneliness and living alone is horrible. I have friends & I get out to the gym , movies etc. But I step on my smile when I enter my house alone. Don’t hear as much from people and I understand that they have their own life. I still awake at night and suddenly realize that I’m alone. Sad at home is my rule of the day.

  12. anne
    | Reply

    My husband died Nov 19 2022, two of my sisters died, one on Nov 24/22 and another on Jan 17th/23. The death of my two sisters just put my grieving for my husband on hold. Now I am devastated. I feel the loneliness, the couple syndrome as all our friends get together as couples but I am not included,,,,I am angry, sad and eveything else that cones with it.

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