Fur Babies

For many widows, our pets are our fur babies.  Some of our most loving relationships are the ones we have with our pets.  We are their caregivers, but they take care of us too.  They inspire us to be our better selves.

Widows can run away from themselves for a very long time.  You can fake happiness doing things you only half care about.  But eventually life reveals itself and you’re forced to add value to yourself.  Be your true self by becoming more of who you really are, anything less is a half-lived life.

As a widow, it’s so clear how we short change ourselves when we are anything but honest about who we are.  And people’s reaction to our truths is usually not as negative or dramatic as we fear.

We may need to change the way we think about grief and how it can affects our mental health.  This is were having a fur baby in our lives can shine a light on our experiences and ease our depression, anxiety and other psychological difficulties.

Also, seek out what other widows have done to make it through their darkest times.  You can’t talk a widow out of her grief.  It is real and like everything else in life it operates on its own spectrum.  Though there are many common aspects to grieving, every widow experiences it her own way.

Yet many widows hide their struggles, not seeking help.  We, as a society, have never understood or acknowledged how much grief affects us.  We need to speak openly because continuing to deny our grief will affect our overall health.  We need to start talking, and we need to start now.  If that means that you start out talking to your fur baby, that’s okay.

“I like living.  I have sometimes been wildly despairing, acutely miserable,

racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly

that just to be alive is a grand thing.”  Agatha Christie


Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve

8 Responses

  1. Lanora W Lowry
    | Reply

    I was thinking about getting a puppy? Lots of responsibility.. that is long needed

  2. Connie Prairie
    | Reply

    I don’t know how I could have made it through my husbands illness and death without my corgis!!!

  3. Nancy
    | Reply

    I enjoyed reading your comments and it also helped me to know that other widows feel the way I do. it’s been more than a year since my husband passed away. It still not easy and misses him daily. I live alone, no cats nor dogs. I know by having one or 2 fur baby will sure helps me a lot to focus and care for another living thing beside myself. A companionship will help me so much.

  4. Lenore Migdal
    | Reply

    I so appreciate the comments on this site. Helps me feel a little less alone.

  5. Gina Smith
    | Reply

    I became a widow at 56, almost 3 years ago. I remember praying at the time, please God, don’t let my 2 older dogs die too yet. I was able to have them both almost 2 more years. One passed last June, the other last August. It surely became too quiet in my new apartment. In November, I found my new fur baby- a 4 month old little puppy. LOTS of work, like having a two year old again! Very frustrating at times, but it’s getting easier with consistent training- she gives me something to learn from, something to focus on doing, and a sweet little companion to come home to.

  6. Terry
    | Reply

    I tried a puppy. I’m not a spring chicken. He had wayyy more energy than me but as it turned out, he had a congenital defect. The breeder took him back and he’s in heaven now. I wasn’t going to look or do it again, rescues weren’t approving me, but I saw this picture of an 8 yr old dog who needed a new home due to circumstances not of his own making. He’s the same breed as my last 3 and he’s the perfect companion for me. I highly recommend it.

  7. Rosanna Bontrager
    | Reply

    i don’t know what I would do without my little dog. My husband and I were not able to have children. So my little dog was my companion for years getting me through the loss of 5 of my sibling in a span of 3years and one day. (2019-2022) Than about 9 weeks ago I lost my husband (53) in freak accident right here at home. Leaving me a widow at age 52. He always said one dog is enough, but now with him gone I want my dog to have a companion.
    I have started looking for an other puppy, but have decisions to make about it. I started working part-time since his passing. I don’t want the puppy to suffer if I don’t have enough time for it. ( Mary, I just found your blog today and saw you were widowed when you were younger than I am.)

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Rosanna

      Yes, I was widowed at age fifty but I was fortunate that our two children were grown and I didn’t have to be a single parent.

      A dog is a ten to fifteen year commitment. I think you are wise to wait as you don’t know what the next year will bring.

      You have just lost your husband and another change when grieving may not work out.

      Take some time for no responsibilities. A time just for yourself.

      Take care, Mary Francis

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