“Why me?” could be the first question a widow asks when grief strikes. At a loss to understand what’s happening, we ask, “Why did this happening to me?” and “How can I get better?”
When we succumb to grief, our overwhelming instinct may be to seek a medical cure, relief of the physical symptoms and lack of sleep that are holding us down. We want a quick escape from our grief, but we could be just numbing our pain and so silencing our inner voice that is trying to help us.
Don’t be scared of your grief, but instead listen to your intuition. Loading up with medication that masks your memories and emotions, will also numb you to the point that you will be unable to see the warning signals that let you know that something is wrong with your life.
Simply drugging the symptoms of grief is not only ineffective, but counterproductive. We need to ask the hard questions and talk about what is upsetting us. With emotional support we will begin to work it out.
If your broken heart wants to get your attention it will use poor health and disease to get your attention. Anxiety is a fear of everything and has more to do with your thoughts then your feelings. Many studies have shown that unresolved grief, anxiety and depression are related to specific cancers. Your sleep is disturbed, appetite changes, stress increases and your body functions change in many significant ways.
We need to acknowledge how our emotions affect our health. Widows who hide anger, sadness and their grief behind a mask of “I’m okay” have shown in medical studies to have a higher incidence of breast cancer. When we are under stress our brains release the hormone cortisol (stress). Elevated levels of cortisol are known it change the behavior of certain organs and rev up our immune system dangerously.
One way or another, when traumatic emotions or memories live in us and we fail to voice them, they will find ways to express themselves through our health.
By accepting that grief happens to everyone and not just you, you can stop asking yourself “why me?” By educating yourself about the link between your grief and disease, your intuition will empower you. The insight you gain will not only help you mentally, but also physically. Use your intuition to help you plan a better journey for your life and build a healthier, more balanced life into the future.
It’s important that widows don’t succumb completely to feelings of “Why Me?”. Please acknowledge the grief and pain of widowhood, and also that you don’t always have to show a happy face while you seek a new balance in your life.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
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