Preserving Memories

It’s important that preserving memories is done as soon as possible because memories can be fragile.

You could start an annual tradition that involves stories and pictures.  Get family and friends to find a picture of your loved one and write a couple of sentences about it.  Buy a binder so you are preserving memories in one spot.  They will remind you of how their life touched others.  They will also tell stories (to those too young) of things that may get forgotten.

Memories help us widows to find some joy while we are grieving.  It takes some time, but at some point there will be a healing of your broken heart.  I’ve been surprised by the legacies that widows have received, even within the constraints of resources and time.

I find appealing idea’s, that are simple and within our abilities, worth trying.  An example: Their loved one (before they get too sick) writing out birthday cards for each grandchild till they reach the age of eighteen.  The widow would pass the cards to their grandchildren on their birthdays.

Memories and legacies need not be expensive or ambitious.  There are a variety of ways to leave a legacy that will ensure they are remembered.  We might share their stories, describing our loved one’s life in a wonderful memoir whose narrative is held together by stories of how his life affected those around him.

I’ve seen the sense of closure that comes with reviewing the past, sharing a life review full of memories and history.  Preserving memories by taking an event that happened in the past and weaving a story out of it.  In the process of building a story out of your memory, buff away the pain and create something you can share.  A story is a magnificent way to put you back in control and your memories will live on.

A memory might not have been so funny at the time it actually occurred, but this is where you can craft it into a really good story.  It’s okay to exaggerate some of the funnier details while leaving out some of the sadder ones.  There will be some that think you are telling the whole truth, but I think it’s perfectly find to make this your story.

Tell your stories, be kind to both yourself and your man.  Memories told in stories show that you can laugh at yourself and that your memories will not be lost.

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows

#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve, #widowshelpingwidows

3 Responses

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    Mary Francis….Everything you write is so amazing, so needed and helpful to us that are grieving.

  2. Sharon G.
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    Years ago, a friend of mine gave me a wooden box. It’s now a keepsake box full of my husband’s things such as his watch, glasses, hat, etc. The keepsake box is my way of preserving my husband’s memory. There are many stories with every item in the box.
    It was hard at first to even look at his glasses, let alone a photo of him. But putting this keepsake box together has been a healing process. I find myself feeling so much love every time I open the box and put another item in it. It has been a time for reflection. The keepsake box is full of memories of the man i was married to for 40+ years. I think of him every day. He was the love of my life and what better way to remember him than with a keepsake box!

  3. Patti jean
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    I found your website almost 3 years ago & have gotten so much from you. It’s coming up on 3 yrs since my husband Nick passed away. I have journaled, joined a bereavement group & prayed. I have come a long way from my early grief. First year everyone took care of me, second year I felt was worse, I will always miss Nick everyday, but I think I finally accept this is what it is.I don’t cry anymore, & I look for joy in other places today. I’m grateful for my family & my friends (the ones that kept in touch always). I’m not angry anymore at the ones that didn’t. This anniversary I will have my family here to share stories. There are many, Nick was just a funny & wonderful, loving husband, dad, pop pop & friend to so many. My faith in God is the only thing that gets me through this life, & I look forward to seeing Nick again. Thank you Mary Francis for being such an inspiration to so many widows. ❤️
    Patti jean

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