Time for You

Being a widow isn’t for the faint hearted, so you need to take time for you.  That doesn’t mean you need a makeup artist, fashion stylist, personal trainer or life coach.  You just need to appreciate the person you are.

Take time to enjoy your own company.  Don’t wait till you lose weight or become the new and improved you.  You were born special and sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to enjoy “You”.

As a widow we worry and stress on what we need to do, but your day is so much more than chores.  Your day is a mix of possibilities waiting to be experienced and explored.

No one’s opinion of you matters as much as the opinion you have.  Do you realize that you are a one-of-a-kind wonderful person?  So, you’ve made some mistakes, had disappointments and weathered some setbacks.  Don’t hold onto them, forget them as they are already in your past.  Start fresh and enjoy time for you, seeing yourself as the treasure you truly are.

You are worth the “time for you”, life is worth all that it takes:  one idea, one choice, one step, one act of kindness are all enough to start a chain reaction of caring that changes your world.

When we are grieving it seems like other people have it all together and like everyone’s life is better than ours.  But that’s not true!  There’s still so much for you to live for.  All it takes is giving yourself permission to relax and be open to reasons to smile and be happy.

In fact, there’s no such thing as a joyless day, because each and every one comes with unlimited potential, so own your time. Stress nags at us, but does it deserve all our attention?  Step back and ease the pressure by reminding yourself that stress isn’t in charge: You Are!  Don’t postpone your future when you can set it in motion or even better, shift into overdrive.

As a widow I know that stress can claim all your attention if you let it.  Instead, please shift your focus to life’s joys even if they are as basic as taking some time for you.

You have something more valuable than money.  You’ve got you and your dreams, and they are the best investment there is!  Give them all your time.

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows

widows worry, widow support, grieving, how to grieve, grief

#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve, #widowshelpingwidows

5 Responses

  1. Joanne Denne
    | Reply

    Thank you for the advice!

  2. Rosanna Bontrager
    | Reply

    What I needed to hear. It was 5 months on Wednesday that I lost my husband. And tomorrow it would be our 23rd anniversary. I need to remind myself somedays that I need to take care of myself. Have been getting a monthly massage, exercising and losing weight. Also bought a few pieces of clothing that are not my style. I told a family member that I believe I’m on a journey to rediscover who I am.

  3. Sofie Dewaele
    | Reply

    thank you for your posts

  4. Lesly J.
    | Reply

    Your words of wisdom are words of comfort, Mary. Thank you for the effort you put in to your writings on a challenging and sensitive subject.
    Ladies, it’s been 18 months since my husband of nearly 27 years died in questionable (hospital-based) circumstances. I’ve been trying hard to smile and laugh again and to enjoy aspects of my new life, as I re-invent myself as a single individual instead of half a partnership. I am finally beginning to feel a little more optimistic about my future, even in these tumultuous times.
    We must love, celebrate and care for ourselves to be of value in life, for it does not stop with the death of our loved ones. LJ

  5. Lenore Migdal
    | Reply

    I try to enjoy my daughter, and my plants and my cats but I still miss my husband enormously. This is the first time in my life that I am living alone and that is very very difficult. My husband was the love of my life and I was very lucky to be with him.

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