Learning to Accept Help

I understand that learning to accept help is hard, even more so when grieving. The death of our loved one feels so unreal and yet we still think we can handle it on our own. We think, “I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me”, so we don’t accept the support or help offered. 

Usually composed and capable, we don’t want to burden others with our worries or loneliness. Still, we can’t block out those feelings. Please call someone and confide to them, opening up will give them a chance to do something for you, even if it’s just to provide a listening ear.

Did you know that the number-one energy zapper is stress? Luckily, spending time with friends can chase away that stress, fight fatigue and even nourish your soul. Friends are angels and when you bring them into your life, they brighten everything with their playfulness and love.

How often in our daily lives had we put conditions on our happiness? When we get older, retire, pay off the mortgage, get the children grown – then we will find the time to do what we want. But then our loved one dies and there is so little joy in a present filled with uncertainties.

I’m often too serious and get too involved in my projects. That is where friends come to my rescue with some fun and laughter. I saw this plaque years ago while shopping with my friends from “The Chicks Night Out” group and I want to pass it on:

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

I stopped and asked myself, “So, am I dancing in the rain?” I think I am. I do know that I try to be more committed to taking time to recognize and be grateful for the immense blessings that are around me.

Thanks to friends and family I celebrate my blessings more. Yes, one step at a time, I’m learning to dance in the rain but I would never have gotten to that place without learning to accept help and support when it is offered to me.

It’s never too late to start something new.  I firmly believe that you can make your dreams a reality at any age.  I can’t tell you how many widows have told me stories of how they have embraced their new lives even in the midst of their grieving.

It is a real balance between extending help to others and learning to accepting help when we need it.  Do you most often find yourself giving or receiving help? 

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
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2 Responses

  1. Kathy
    | Reply

    I have no one to ask for help. No family. No Friends. no help.

  2. Ruby
    | Reply

    I have lots of friends and a great support system, but I’m still feeling alone and a sense of disconnect. I recently had a Tia and was prescribed medication. The grieving is starting to affect my health.

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