Good Boundaries

A lot happens after our loved one’s death but in the midst of it all we need to understand that setting good boundaries is necessary so that others don’t control our dreams.  It’s important that you don’t base your life on the approval of others to the extent that they don’t respect your space or time.

Many widows today struggle with setting good boundaries:

• Do you take care of everyone except yourself?
• Are you influenced by all kinds of fads?
• Do you go from one bad relationship to another?
• Is your spending out of control?
• Do you feel emotionally unable to cope with others?
• Have you overextended yourself financially?
• Is life so disorganized that you don’t know what to do?
• Do you struggle with good time management?

Do you ever find yourself saying, “Oh no, I’ll never be able to do that”, without even giving it a try?  Look at your boundaries and see them for the falsehoods they are.  I like the saying “I am responsible for my thoughts and by changing my thinking, I can change my life.”

Don’t let peoples discouraging words stop you from dreaming – deciding – doing what you know deep inside of you, needs to be done.  You are good enough, smart enough and able enough to live a happy life. Consider setting boundaries so that your life is more clearly defined and not subject to the circumstances and whims of others.

We have all been created to love and to be loved.  I’m here to remind you to love yourself first. I know that we want our loved ones back, but that is not going to happen.  That doesn’t mean that we give up – instead we need to live twice as much, love twice as hard and embrace life with twice the passion.

You can get too busy, too overworked, too stressed and as a result of your grief life can be even harder to handle. Boundaries can define what is acceptable and give you a sense of control, but don’t use your boundaries as excuses to sit back and watch life from the side lines.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,

Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT), 

Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”