Widow’s Capacity

A Widow’s Capacity to Keep Going

As widows we need to learn to take satisfaction in the small steps we take towards healing.   The most content widows I know take joy where they can find it.  Having something to look forward to, is such an essential part of our existence that it has the capacity to keep us going even when we want to give up.

We have the potential to make many wonderful discoveries in our grief journey and none will be greater than the discovery of our own strengths.  You will find that you can conquer your fears, be more resourceful than you imagined and that you can go places and do things that you had never thought possible.

It’s really a matter of attitude.  We can choose to be content, to be satisfied with our lives by looking forward to a future that we plan for.  We can do the right thing – despite how we feel, despite the circumstances and despite what others might say or do.  At the end of the day, we just need to keep moving forward because there is a very fine line between depression and grief.

The pursuit of my dream to help other widows has taken me out of my comfort zone, elevated my thinking, given me confidence and confirmed my sense of purpose but most of all it gave me something to look forward to.

It’s true what they say, “The greatest value of your dream won’t be what you get from it; it will be who you become by pursuing it.”  As widows, you and I will travel the grief journey and hopefully we will make the world a better place because we understand the pain of loss.

Optimists think that life is always good and pessimists believe that it’s all bad but the reality is that life is both.  Only a widow who accepts and embraces life with all its trials will survive and heal.

How are you progressing in your grief journey?  Some widows think they will be happy when they sell the house, when they get more money or when the kids grow up etc. but happiness isn’t somewhere in your future.  Your happiness is in the present – in doing something with your life.  It’s not enough to just survive, you need to stand your ground and really live.

Don’t just exist, reacting to what others do or say; instead take control of your life.  Make plans now and have dreams to work towards.  By making an effort to embrace life you will discover that there is more to your future than you had thought.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,

Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT), 

Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”


6 Responses

  1. Rita McClanahan
    | Reply

    I look forward to reading your post each morning.

    | Reply

    Thank you. I needed this today.

  3. dolly lilly
    | Reply

    Again, thank you so much for your encouragement. Helping other widows is so important. Many have helped me, and I’ve decided to reach out to them. Even a hug, listening on the phone, calling just to see how they’re doing, etc. I love reading what you have to say, because it’s so right on where we are, or at least where I have been. I’ve already had the time to experience new things and it feels so good to know I can do things I’ve never done before. People really are helpful and kind, especially when they realize you have been working alone on the project. It’s amazing how people will go that extra mile, so that’s what I need to remember to pay back. Thank you, Mary.

  4. Lenore Migdal Lloyd
    | Reply

    Your comments are very helpful and remind me that I need to keep going forward. At 87 I may have several more years without my dearly beloved husband and I know I need to keep finding some pleasure despite the deep loss.

    • Nancy
      | Reply

      Thank you for your moment. You are an inspiration. If you can do it at 87, then I can do it too at 75. I was beginning to think that I was too old.

  5. Barbara C Henry
    | Reply

    Thank you for your continued support and for stepping out of your comfort zone ????

Leave a Reply